cravings pt. deux

I am not like normal pre-menstrual women who have cravings for cookies or chinese food. I have these weird cravings for a specific type of food... like an avocado or a piece of provolone cheese. Recently, I keep having cravings for kimchi. No not kimchi chigae or kimchi bokkeumbab. Just kimchi. I come home every night, feening for some spicy, stinky, and crunchy cabbage.

Just right now, I took out my kimchi tub from my fridge and ate like 10 pieces of kimchi by itself.

So delicious.

I am so Korean right now.

if i were a rich girl...

My cousin and I are making a list of things we're going to buy/do once we land jobs.

1.
On our weekly Walmart runs, we always have the hardest time picking cereal, and one day we just picked this cereal at random. It is sooo yummy! I think we literally ate it all in two sittings. Unfortunately, it's super tiny (it's like half the size of other cereal boxes), and for some reason, it's the most expensive. For the time being, we'll have to stick with the discounted cocoa puffs and honey bunches. One day, we'll come back for you.

2.
The last time I ate Korean bbq was the little sliver of a piece I had when we went as a group on 4th of July weekend to eat neng myun (only one guy ordered galbi... the rest of us were too cheap). But that little piece was sooo juicy and delicious... I still dream about it...

3.
I never used to like jjim jil bang (korean saunas) until maybe a week or two before I came to the east coast. But during that week, I got addicted. It is so relaxing and therapeutic just lying there and sweating it out. I even got used to the communal bathing. Unfortunately, I hear they're more expensive over here. (isn't everything?) I miss it so.

4.

Okay this one is kinda lofty... but we really, really want to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios, Orlando. I am not even a huuge Harry Potter fan (I haven't even read all the books or watched the movies), but I love this fictional world created by J.K. Rowling. Ever since, I first read the book, I always thought they should turn it into a ride at a theme park...

One day, one day.

life update

People assume that I eat all kinds of exciting food since I'm in New York- a mecca for eclectic dining.

But to be honest, every time we end up eating out, we always somehow manage to end up in K-town. K-town isn't really even a town in New York (not even comparable to Los Angeles)... merely a small strip of Korean restaurants, hofs, and stores. And it always smells like wet dog or sewage.


Maybe it's temperamental stomach, but all I crave these days is some good Korean cookin'. And every time I eat an American meal (burgers, barbeque, etc.), I find myself feeling sorely disappointed. Even Italian fare doesn't really "hit the spot" for me anymore. I haven't even tried out any landmark dessert places either... I think my sweet tooth is slowly rotting away.

I think I've eaten 라뽁이(?) at least every week since I've arrived.


People say they miss Mexican food when they move to the east coast, but I could care less about King Taco or El Taurino. All I really miss is my grandma's home cooking. I could really go for some 갈바찜 right now.

한식짱!

* * * * *

I think it's kind of a curse that I could survive off so little sleep. While all my friends are sleeping in after a late late night (possibly early morning) of partying, I'm always up at 9:00am regardless of what time I slept. And then I'm just bored out of my mind as I roam around their cavernous apartments, trying to entertain myself making the smallest amount of noise possible (though my friends would probably disagree).

So then I get ready and venture out to the city by myself, which usually means going to the nearest bookstore or ordering the least expensive item at a cafe and people-watching. Which reminds me, the other day I was really craving a breakfast sandwich when I was out in my solitary morning/early afternoon adventures, so I tried looking for the nearest McDonalds. I couldn't find one, so I stumbled into a Subway, but they weren't serving breakfast anymore. So I ended up at some random deli and ordered an egg sandwich. And it was exactly that: one egg smashed in between two pieces of bread. As I scarfed it down hungrily adding my own fixin's of ketchup, I thought to myself, "Wow. I must look really pitiful right now." And then I went to the Sephora next door and tried out every perfume there was and got into an hour-long conversation with the salesperson there. Then after a headache from all the perfume-testing, I went to Barnes and read an entire book about useless trivia. I think if I put my mind to it, I could write a book about entertaining oneself and the joys of being alone. "How to be Alone." Oh wait, Jonathan Franzen used that title already. Oh poo.

couch potatoe

So aside from spending Memorial Day at the 찜질방 with my dad, I ended up vegging out in front of the telly with my friend. It's been a while since I've watched television to be honest... it's been so long that I don't even have any idea what movies are out right now.

So here's the gist of the trashy programs I've missed out on:
-Tori Spelling's reality show... we just marveled at how her husband can wake up to her face every morning (i know... we're cruel, but she's rich and famous so it's okay)
-the infamous Jersey Shore... wanted to know what the hoopla was about this show, but the overly tanned, shiny muscled bods made me feel kind of nauseous
-One Tree Hill- never watched this show, but can't believe it's still running?
-Gossip Girl... I had no clue what was going on, but apparently everyone's in college now... Blair's an outcast and Georgina (hate her!) is part of the "in crowd" now, because that's what happens in college right? The cool kids become trite & lame, and the losers become quirky & cool. I don't know if it's Korean programs with stick-thin celebrities that are getting to me, but everyone looked kind of fat (?)
-Bachelorette #8? or 12? or 57?... not worth commenting.

But there was one show that was worth watching for more than 10 minutes...
Future Food!



Basically, it's a show about these two chefs, Homaro Cantu & Ben Roche, who own "Moto"- an avant-garde restaurant in Chicago that experiments with molecular gastronomy. These guys are chefs with a mad scientist twist who experiment with food in order to make dishes that are more environment-friendly and waste-efficient. It is so coooool. If I was a chef, I would love to work in their kitchen... their kitchen is more like a science lab, and every show, they have these little challenges like trying to imitate seafood with absurd substitutes (watermelon for tuna?!) and making yummy burgers with the ingredients from cow feed. If I'm ever in Chicago, I want to try this place out! Unfortunately, it is rated $$$$ on yelp...

nasty nom noms

Doesn't that look like the grossest thing ever? I am so disgusted with America sometimes (I remember I didn't realize how rabidly obese Americans were until I came back from Korea and went to Target for the first time).

Well aside from its amazingly high sodium content (~1,400 milligrams), there's just something unsettling about this equation. Two slabs of fried chicken + fried bacon + melted cheeses. Something about it just doesn't sit right with me. Like the Protein Burger at In-N-Out... it just looks so... deformed. Like a mutant of a sandwich. *shudder*

We were talking about weird food combos at comm group this one time:

ramen & cheese
ramen & doritos
chili cheese & rice
peanut butter & jelly & ham
milk & 밥 (rice)


milk & 밥... ? everything else i've heard/tried before, but milk & 밥 is all new to me...

that reminds me of this horrible nightmare I had as a child where I had to eat strawberry milk and rice together. I kept crying because I didn't want to eat it... and the thought/image/taste of it still makes me want to GAG.

you're making me fat.

i hate you.

new noms

I found my next new food obsession:

Instant soon tofu!

Of course it's not as good as the real thing and I have to admit the dried up bean curds kinda put me off at first, but after mixing it with boiling water, it wasn't half-bad!

Plus, its a measly 135 calories. Thats like less than two Samoas! (or Caramel DeLites... as they call them now to be more p.c.)

But now my work is filled with the aroma of spicy seafood.


Oh update on the Samoas vs. Caramel DeLites issue:
Few weeks ago, some unreliable source told me that those delicious caramel-coated, chocolate-striped, coconutty cookies changed their name because it was offensive to Samoan people (I personally would be proud to have something so delicious named after my country). But after doing a bit of research on the good ol' reliable web, I found out that it was all just myth. It turns out that Samoas and Caramel DeLites are just manufactured by different bakeries: Little Brown Bakers & ABC Bakers, respectively. And depending on where your local girl scouts purchase their cookies, the names would (obviously) be different.

Oh, but it isn't just the names that differ, but their ingredients too:

1. Samoas use dark chocolate while Caramel DeLites use milk chocolate
2. Samoas has higher caramel content and are generally more fatty (yum!)


which is which? (muHAHAHA)

I feel like I just hosted an episode of Mythbusters...

cereal killer

I think out of the past 6 meals I've eaten, 4 of them have been cereal.

I've always loved cereal. It should be its own food group. I am very nondiscriminatory towards my cereal too: I like 'em sugary, bran-y, marshmallowy, fibrous, artificially flavored, au naturale, frosted, cinnamony, bland, fruity, you name it~

My brother brought home two of my faves the other night:
1. Banana Cheerios

-it tastes just like banana nut bread!

2. Special K Fruit & Yogurt
-So delicious... I end up fishing for the yummy yogurt pieces.

I remember my old roommate telling me that her friend loved Cranberry Almond Crunch (also a great choice!) so much during college that she gained 10 pds. from eating it religiously.

yikes!

But I think its my dessert/sweets withdrawal that's leading me to this excessive consumption of cereal. Is this considered cheating?

lent

So I gave up two things for lent:

1. Facebook (this one seems like a popular one this year)
Which I kind of broke already because I accidentally pressed the fb tab on my bookmarks without even thinking! This is just really sad how it's almost like a natural reflex to check facebook...

2. Sweets (or to put it in more definitive terms... anything that can be classified as "dessert" including chocolate and candy)

When it comes to food, I can give up many things, but sweets are really, really hard for me. And I realized not only is my birthday during Lent season (no cake!!!!!!!!!!!), but I'll be visiting my friend's house in SF next weekend and her sister is a renowned pastry chef!!!!

A: monica's talking to me now
she's like i'll make donuts!!
what if she makes them with cheese?
not sweets?


I am going to cry.

a new version of me.

2010. It looks like an alien, futuristic year that we never thought we would reach. In the year 2010, we should be living like the Jetsons riding flying cars and living in outer space, right? But instead we have our iphones and blackberries... whatta letdown~

Many people say new years resolutions are cheesy and pointless, but people who say that are usually the lazy & dispirited.

Whereas I still hold onto this little, underrated thing called hope.

This year, I will really actively try to better myself. I will become Julie 3.0.

But I realize that with these resolutions, I have to start off small... can't make those lofty, idealistic goals that wont humor anyone and are just doomed for failure.

As I look at my January 2009 goals, I listed:

1. I'm going to get something published. (hmm well that didn't happen... even with 6 months of unemployment... though I did work on some pieces that I'm now too embarrassed to look at.)

2. I'm going to learn the trick of the trades. (wow... way to be overly general. I should've just written "BE GOOD.")

3. I'm going to be shameless. (hm more vagueness. Well I did, for the first time ever in my life, confess my adoration for a guy I had a crush on... that was pretty shameless.)

Well for the big 2010,

1st resolution:
I will make a better, more specific set of resolutions. Is this kind of like asking for three more wishes?

2nd resolution:
I will become a yoga/pilates queen. I realized I'm probably the most inflexible Asian woman I know. It's actually kind of embarrassing. How is it that Asian (especially Chinese) women are so limber and acrobatic? Even the older ladies can hit all the poses while I'm struggling like a behemoth. Even during football practices, I'd hate the stretching exercises, because I would be the only person straining to touch my toes. But just you wait- by the end of this year, I'll be as lithe and limber as a cat.

3rd resolution: I will learn how to cook. Or at least become more comfortable with cooking. I told my fam that I'll start off by cooking a meal per week. Even if it's a really simple one. I'm not sure if they're more excited or worried. My first meal was goat cheese & spinach omelette with french toast. (this reminds me... while I was grocery shopping, I was struck with the dilemma of choosing between organic and regular eggs, and I confess I did go with the regular ones- the organic ones were 3x the price~) which leads me to my

4th resolution: I will be a flexitarian. This one's kind of cheating, because it's still kind of vague. But for those of you who don't know... flexitarianism: a semi-vegetarian diet focusing on vegetarian food with occasional meat consumption. People will say this is like "copping out" but read the chapter "All or Nothing or Something Else" of JSF's Eating Animals. Actually don't know if I should make this into a resolution since it's practically what I already do anyway. Fine... this one will just be a filler until I can think of something better.

5th resolution: I will answer the phone nicely. Whenever my family calls, I tend to get very exasperated and automatically switch to this annoyed tone... and in a strange way, this kind of sets the tone for the rest of the conversation and just the relationship as a whole. I realized that I was being very bratty & irritable and that it's unfair that I turn on this sweet, pleasant persona when I'm at work to people who are way more undeserving of such treatment in comparison to my family.

That is it for now. Well there's more, but I'm too embarrassed to post those up publicly.

lazy morning

I remember I heard this saying that you know you made it in show business if there are gay rumors circulating about you.

Well, I think you know you made it in life when there is a google logo dedicated to you.

If you are a dedicated reader to my blog (probably unlikely...), you would know that I fancy these fun, festive logos and that they bring a small sense of wonder and joy to my long, dreary days staring at the computer.

I realized that the best bet of having your own google logo is:
1. being a world leader


2. inventing something


I think I'll go with the latter... since it seems a teensy bit more plausible. And by invent, I'm thinking artistically. I'm leaning towards an iconic character(s) of some sort. I mean just look at Sesame Street... those guys got like a week's worth of airtime~

Or maybe I can somehow seduce Dennis Hwang (google logo designer) and have him fall in love with me to a point of delirium.

We'll see...

On a sidenote:
In the past 24 hours, I've consumed more bright orange food than I have in my whole lifetime...
1. tangerines (5)
2. persimmons (3)
3. carrot ginger soup
4. sweet potato fries
5. cheddar ruffles
6. leftover orange fruit snacks from a coworker (she hates the orange ones!)

And that was all totally coincidental!

food for thought

I am currently reading Jonathan Safran Foer's Eating Animals. I was always very reluctant to know about the horrors of factory farming, because I preferred living in oblivion. Basically, I did not want any emotions or guilt to interfere with my eating habits. But now that I'm a bit older and less hedonistic when it comes to food, I decided I should be more responsible with my life choices especially since food is something that is such a central part of our lives (and the fact that JSF is my hero has nothing to do with any of this... ahh who am I kidding... or course it does).

But anyway, as I read more and more about the mass production of meat, eggs, & fish farming, I really wonder how did things get so bad?

I like my meat. And I have nothing against people eating animals (hey~it's the food cycle), but it's pretty disgusting how far the meat/egg/fishing industry will go to get the most bang for their buck. And I'm not saying that animals are in any way equivalent to humans. But just because we are the "superior" species, doesn't mean that we have to treat animals as cost-efficient commodities for our greedy, gluttonous minds. I honestly wouldn't mind paying a little more for my meat if it meant that it would improve factory farming standards. And not only for the poor little animals, but for our own health and the overall environment.

But the more I read, the more helpless I feel.

JSF on "Sentimentality":

The value of emotions over reality. Sentimentality is widely considered otu of touch, weak. Very often, those who express concern about (or even an interest in) the conditions in which farmed animals are raised are disregarded as sentimentalists. But it's worth taking a step back to ask who is the sentimentalist and who is the realist.

Is caring to know about the treatment of farmed animals a confrontation with the facts about the animals and ourselves or an avoidance of them? Is arguing that a sentiment of compassion should be given greater value than a cheaper burger (or having a burger at all) an expression of emotion and impulse or an engagement with reality and our moral intuitions?

Two friends are ordering lunch. One says, "I'm in the mood for a burger," and orders it. The other says, "I'm in the mood for a burger," but remembers that there are things more important to him than what he is in the mood for at any given moment, and orders something else. Who is the sentimentalist?

more on this later.

woooozy

I should be called the Persimmon Queen... I think I eat 3 a day. But they are so delicious I can't help myself!

My grandma told me that persimmons makes you constipated... that worried me, so I looked it up on wikipedia (my most trusted source for information har har)... but here it said that persimmons are used to "treat constipation and hemorrhoids, and to stop bleeding. As such, it is not a good idea to consume too many persimmons at once as they can induce diarrhea."

Complete opposite information... Who should I trust?

There was a guy that I had a minor crush on and he was eating persimmons too. I thought we could have been soulmates, but then I realized every Korean family has boxes and boxes of persimmons at their homes, so this was nothing special. It was as if he was eating kimchee... this shattered my dream. Being my overly eager self, I also told him to be careful because of the constipation factor... the words came out of my mouth before I could stop them. I think I was nervous. I guess when it comes down to it though, I trust my grandma over wiki...

ps.


im such a sentimentalist.

nom nom nom pt. 2

Someone once told me that I eat like a grandma. I guess what they meant was I like to eat bland food. And I really do. But only if they're meant to taste that way, not because it's supposed to be flavorful but turned out bland.

These are my stand-out korean food items:

1. 인절미 떡

My favorite type of ricecake. I have no idea what its made out of but its ricecake covered with this yellow-brownish powder (If you know what this powder is, please enlighten me!). My mom usually brings home a whole container every time she goes grocery shopping at the Korean market and I usually end up eating the whole thing in one sitting.



2. 호박죽
Pumpkin porridge. Sometimes, they serve this as an appetizer/dessert at Korean bbq restaurants... forget the galbi~ I could eat this as my meal. Well, not really, but we always end up asking the waitresses for extra to take it home. But only if my grandma asks, because they can't say no to her.



3. 무나물

One of my favorites...it's a radish sidedish, but I have no clue how its prepared or how its seasoned or anything. But anyway, that's what I love most about Korean food... the variety in sidedishes or their "ban-chan." I should probably learn how to make some.


4. 미숫가루

I tried looking online to see what it is... and I believe it's translated to "Korean Cereal Tea"... whatever that means. But it's a powder that is very similar (or the same) as the yellowish-brown powder used in the rice cakes above. You can mix it with water or milk or ice cream (?) to make a milkshake. I usually mix it with milk... and I bought these handy-dandy individual packets that I can take on-the-go. So simple & easy to make... it can even be used as a protein shake! (ok I made that up but I think it's used as a dietary supplement... but don't quote me on that).

^Look! even the little kid can make some!

5. 은대구 주림

Spicy Cod Casserole. My favorite Korean dish of all time... though it's not a "grandma" food. It's very tasty actually. The fish just melts in your mouth... and they usually put potato and radish chunks in there too.

It usually looks a lot better than this picture, but I couldn't find any online.

food philosophy

A caring friend asked me the other day how I lost so much weight. Honestly, I didn't lose THAT much weight (it was probably less than 10 pounds over the span of a few months). I'm probably now the same size as I was right before I graduated college (actually I think I was smaller then), but I think people held onto this image of me right after I came back from Korea and ballooned up like a fatty (one friend was so shocked when I came back that he even pointed out how I got "heavy"... meanie).

Anyway, I think the friend that asked me about my weight was genuinely concerned, and at the time, I didn't necessarily feel like answering him. But now looking back, I should've just clarified, because he probably thinks now that I'm either anorexic or that I'm on drugs.

I think dieting is something really hard to do. And just making rules & restrictions for yourself never really works. It has to be a mental thing before a habitual thing.

For me, as I am balancing my work & school schedule, I find that my appetite isn't like how it used to be. I don't necessarily find it a priority to eat a delicious, filling meal for every meal. In fact, I find it a nuisance and a hindrance to my daily activities. Instead, I find myself eating because I need to have energy and because I can't function when I'm famished. I eat out of survival more than pleasure. And I don't like the feeling of getting stuffed especially when I'm at work, because it makes me feel lazy, spacey, and a little nauseous. Also, I always have a voracious appetite in the morning, whereas in the evening, I'm too tired/dazed to really crave anything so I end up eating less (I realized in my post-graduate life, that I really am a morning person... I tend to eat, exercise, and study better in the early hours). I also enjoy eating healthier foods especially homemade Korean food.

I still like eating yummy food and finding good restaurants (I love thoroughly researching on food joints!), but it's more of a fun, occasional social thing rather than an everyday thing.

My brother, on the other hand, has to eat a delicious, satisfying meal for every meal he eats, so we tend to argue. He always wants to go out and buy something to eat, and I always tell him to just eat food at home and to stop wasting money. I realized though it's just a difference in priorities. Though I find it unnecessary to eat yummy food (or food that I'm craving) all the time, I do find it necessary to wear cute clothes all the time (well not necessarily cute, but clothes that make me happy). I can't step out of the house unless I feel good (or at least okay) with what I'm wearing. I know other people such as my brother, could care less about their daily attire and probably find it ridiculous that I have to be content with my outfit selection when I'm going to the supermarket.

So loving friends, do not be alarmed. I am not throwing up my meals nor am I starving myself. I'm just living by Socrates philosophy: "Thou shouldst eat to live; not live to eat."

Current fatty infatuation

Tastes like heaven.