9.30.2009

obama mama

I had the strangest dream that i was having an affair with Barack Obama.
We kept meeting at this backdoor cafe in k-town so we wouldn't get caught.
I remember feeling very guilty towards Michelle and little Malia & Sasha.
I told him we couldn't go on this way.
I bought him a pink tie as parting gift.

I saw him on a televised press conference, and he was wearing my tie.




I definitely felt like the Rick Blaine (Casablanca) of this equation. It was for the greater good.

9.29.2009

elphaba

today, i decided on green nails to match my green mood.


"what exactly does that mean? to have a green mood?" someone asks.

now that I think about it... I'm not sure myself.

If you think about it, green is probably the most multi-faceted color in the spectrum:

*nature
*recycling
*youth/vitality/inexperience
*envy
*go ("red means stop, green means go" a la half-dome)
*money
*queasiness
*luck (of the Irish!)

another useless tidbit: my mom loves the color green (its her fave)... and her email address is vertami, which translates to "green friend" in french.

for me, green's okay, but i prefer yellow/pink/orange/red/blue and everything else. except purple. i hate purple!

ps. that picture up there isn't me. i have a hand/foot double (i'm insecure).

9.27.2009

the end matter

I think it must be my own personal "bomb scare" on the 60 fwy or the rapture dream I had recently, but I've been thinking more and more about the "end times" lately. We often get so sucked into the daily routines of our humdrum lives that we almost fool ourselves into thinking that we'll be going on like this forever (and sometimes it really does feel that way). But then we snap out of these delusions when we hear about some fatal freak accident or the death of some celebrity- a wake-up call of how fragile and ephemeral a human life truly is.

I remember when we were learning how to evangelize in the Philippines & Thailand, they told us that a good icebreaker is to ask people if they died right this minute, where they think they'd end up. At the time, I thought the tactic was too straightforward, even a bit harsh way to preach the gospel, but it was effective. It makes one really evaluate where they stand in terms of faith & assurance. I wonder if I asked the same question to weekly church-goers, how they would respond? I'm sure most people were never confronted with such a question.

During missions, Pastor Howard went through the study of the book of Revelation with us. In retrospect, I wish I wasn't half-asleep every morning/night so I might have learned something (I should fish out my notes though I'm sure they're just strewn with oodles of doodles).

When I was younger, I was so scared of the final book and refused to read it... those monsters with the multiples heads and such would give me nightmares. But now I really want to study it; it's really interesting how many different schools of interpretations there are on this book (e.g. Historicism, Futurism, Preterism, Idealism). I just got my ESV study bible in the mail last week, and I love the little introductions and footnotes for further explanations & historical context (My only complaint is that the thing is as big & heavy as a dictionary). It's the next best thing to having my own pocket-sized theologian professor.

on a lighter note: can you believe google is 11 years old? I thought there was a typo or my eyes were playing tricks on me when I saw this:

trippy.

9.24.2009

manners

The other day, as I was trying to study at the library, I kept getting distracted by these little junior highers who were cursing up a storm. I'm not one of those people who go around washing peoples' mouths with soap or anything, but I feel like cursing needs to serve some type of function. And that purpose is when you're so pissed that your mind literally draws a blank.

i.e. the only times I curse:
1. when I get road rage
2. when I fight with my brother
3. when I hurt myself accidentally
4. when I mess up my nails

But in this case, these kids were integrating profanities in their everyday speech as if it was no biggie; the expletives just spewed out of their dirty lil' mouths without any qualms. And not only that, but there were a few grandmas and grandpas hangin' around within earshot. This really irritated me (albeit these elders were Chinese and probably didn't understand what the kids were saying). Call me old-fashioned but there are certain things you don't do in front of old people (e.g. smoke, spit, and especially curse). In fact, you shouldn't spit anywhere. I especially hate it when girls spit... so unladylike.

I know I'm no Miss Priss myself, but some of these kids these days need to go to charm school to build some social etiquette. Or they can just read Miss Manners.

I actually borrowed it from the library once... I believe it was the one on Communication- it was pretty hilarious. They have different guides for Eating, Domestic Tranquility, Rearing Perfect Children, and Common Courtesy (or should be called Uncommon Courtesy).



And what the heck happened to chivalry? I remember this time I went on a trip with two guy friends and a girlfriend, and we all stayed in one hotelroom. There was only one Queen-size bed, and there was no way we could all fit. We were trying to figure out the whole sleeping situation, and it was just taking too long so I volunteered to sleep on the floor. The guys didn't budge. I mean yeah, neither one was my boyfriend (nor did they a special liking towards me) so they didn't have any obligation/motive to treat me nicely, but still~ I was a little irked by the state of affairs. Men should always treat women with special care. Because of the pains of childbirth, menstrual cramps, waxing, etc. And the burden of always looking beautiful (or at least trying to).

9.22.2009

current obsession

platinum blonde pixies


so mod




anime-esque


so pretty, he is...


my ultimate fave blonde

heard she's not blonde anymore! no!!!!



9.20.2009

adieu

I crept out the bed at the break of dawn
Like a half-hearted lover in an expired affair.
I packed up the last of my belongings and numbly stared
At the hollowed rooms of our idyllic youth.
Our Still Life with Plastic Banana & Knife.
The wilted paper mistletoe that hung
As an homage to all things beautiful.
I checked my unkempt bedhair in that forbidden bathroom
that still conjured up feelings of tension and unease.

Our last bohemian bastion of our tender greenness
That housed the lost & weary, the dreamy & restless.
Haphazard dinners, solo dance parties,
Friday nights where I ain't got nobody~
The humble, little artist colony
That witnessed the birth of poetry and music.
I stood at the street corner, perched on the broken bicycle seat
Feeling a cold chill signaling that the dog days are over.
Heaving a sigh into the desolate, grey skies
I paid a silent farewell to my sweet corinthian home.

9.16.2009

nom nom nom pt. 2

Someone once told me that I eat like a grandma. I guess what they meant was I like to eat bland food. And I really do. But only if they're meant to taste that way, not because it's supposed to be flavorful but turned out bland.

These are my stand-out korean food items:

1. 인절미 떡

My favorite type of ricecake. I have no idea what its made out of but its ricecake covered with this yellow-brownish powder (If you know what this powder is, please enlighten me!). My mom usually brings home a whole container every time she goes grocery shopping at the Korean market and I usually end up eating the whole thing in one sitting.



2. 호박죽
Pumpkin porridge. Sometimes, they serve this as an appetizer/dessert at Korean bbq restaurants... forget the galbi~ I could eat this as my meal. Well, not really, but we always end up asking the waitresses for extra to take it home. But only if my grandma asks, because they can't say no to her.



3. 무나물

One of my favorites...it's a radish sidedish, but I have no clue how its prepared or how its seasoned or anything. But anyway, that's what I love most about Korean food... the variety in sidedishes or their "ban-chan." I should probably learn how to make some.


4. 미숫가루

I tried looking online to see what it is... and I believe it's translated to "Korean Cereal Tea"... whatever that means. But it's a powder that is very similar (or the same) as the yellowish-brown powder used in the rice cakes above. You can mix it with water or milk or ice cream (?) to make a milkshake. I usually mix it with milk... and I bought these handy-dandy individual packets that I can take on-the-go. So simple & easy to make... it can even be used as a protein shake! (ok I made that up but I think it's used as a dietary supplement... but don't quote me on that).
^Look! even the little kid can make some!

5. 은대구 주림

Spicy Cod Casserole. My favorite Korean dish of all time... though it's not a "grandma" food. It's very tasty actually. The fish just melts in your mouth... and they usually put potato and radish chunks in there too.

It usually looks a lot better than this picture, but I couldn't find any online.

9.14.2009

glee

new show alert!

from the creator of "Popular" & "Nip/Tuck" comes



I realized I love movies/tv shows about high school but they have to be done with just the right amount of snarkiness (e.g. "The Heathers," "Mean Girls"). "Glee" definitely has outrageous/hilarious, caricature-like characters like "Popular" did (remember Mary Cherry?) as well as the same glossy, picture-perfect finish.

my fave character:


emma pillsbury- the slightly neurotic, germaphobic counselor. i hated her as Charlie in "Ugly Betty,"but here she plays one of those pathetic, starry-eyed female characters that you can't help but to want to root for... (e.g. Amy Adams... in like all of her movies) or maybe its because I could relate to her whole-hearted but hopeless adoration for the male lead. i just want to give her a hug.

9.13.2009

food philosophy

A caring friend asked me the other day how I lost so much weight. Honestly, I didn't lose THAT much weight (it was probably less than 10 pounds over the span of a few months). I'm probably now the same size as I was right before I graduated college (actually I think I was smaller then), but I think people held onto this image of me right after I came back from Korea and ballooned up like a fatty (one friend was so shocked when I came back that he even pointed out how I got "heavy"... meanie).

Anyway, I think the friend that asked me about my weight was genuinely concerned, and at the time, I didn't necessarily feel like answering him. But now looking back, I should've just clarified, because he probably thinks now that I'm either anorexic or that I'm on drugs.

I think dieting is something really hard to do. And just making rules & restrictions for yourself never really works. It has to be a mental thing before a habitual thing.

For me, as I am balancing my work & school schedule, I find that my appetite isn't like how it used to be. I don't necessarily find it a priority to eat a delicious, filling meal for every meal. In fact, I find it a nuisance and a hindrance to my daily activities. Instead, I find myself eating because I need to have energy and because I can't function when I'm famished. I eat out of survival more than pleasure. And I don't like the feeling of getting stuffed especially when I'm at work, because it makes me feel lazy, spacey, and a little nauseous. Also, I always have a voracious appetite in the morning, whereas in the evening, I'm too tired/dazed to really crave anything so I end up eating less (I realized in my post-graduate life, that I really am a morning person... I tend to eat, exercise, and study better in the early hours). I also enjoy eating healthier foods especially homemade Korean food.

I still like eating yummy food and finding good restaurants (I love thoroughly researching on food joints!), but it's more of a fun, occasional social thing rather than an everyday thing.

My brother, on the other hand, has to eat a delicious, satisfying meal for every meal he eats, so we tend to argue. He always wants to go out and buy something to eat, and I always tell him to just eat food at home and to stop wasting money. I realized though it's just a difference in priorities. Though I find it unnecessary to eat yummy food (or food that I'm craving) all the time, I do find it necessary to wear cute clothes all the time (well not necessarily cute, but clothes that make me happy). I can't step out of the house unless I feel good (or at least okay) with what I'm wearing. I know other people such as my brother, could care less about their daily attire and probably find it ridiculous that I have to be content with my outfit selection when I'm going to the supermarket.

So loving friends, do not be alarmed. I am not throwing up my meals nor am I starving myself. I'm just living by Socrates philosophy: "Thou shouldst eat to live; not live to eat."

9.10.2009

kpop pretty boys have nothin' on these guys

My two favorites from the golden era of film...



Marlon Brando: The Ultimate Bad-ass
He plays a crook, fighter, wife-beater, rapist. And I still can't get myself to hate him. I remember watching "On the Waterfront" and falling in love. I think that's where these faulty notions of finding a "reformed badboy" were originally planted in my foolish little mind. I recall watching "Streetcar Name Desire" on a plane ride to somewhere (I think Korea?)... yeah~ not really a plane movie, but Brando's greasy bod and brash accent were so unexpectedly attractive. And comeon~ he grows up to be the freaking Godfather... how can you get more gangster than that?




And then at the complete opposite end of the spectrum


Gregory Peck: The Good Guy
From the noble attorney to the upright journalist, this guy makes me have faith in mankind... I would've married him in a heartbeat(but then again, who honestly wouldn't?). The last scene in "Roman Holiday" is one of my favorite movie scenes of all time; It's so bittersweet it makes my heart & body ache when I watch it.


Funny that Brando and Peck apparently didn't get along in real life.

They don't make movies (or men) like these anymore...

9.07.2009

health

At this young, ripe age, I couldn't help but to think that my body is invincible. My concept of "illness" would fall within the confines of the common cold or the upset stomach that could easily be cured with a magical pill of Advil or Pepto.

But after this weekend, I realized that anyone (regardless of age, gender, or physical upkeep) can fall into the doomed hands of disease. Just one arbitrary day, your body (which you considered as "your own") can turn into a merciless enemy, something separate and counteractive to your being.

There is so much to be prayed for.

Billy Collins knows how to capture my thoughts so perfectly.

On Turning Ten
The whole idea of it makes me feel

like I'm coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
or the headaches I get from reading in bad light--
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chicken pox of the soul.

You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit.
At four I was an Arabian wizard.
I could make myself invisible
by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.
At seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.

But now I am mostly at the window
watching the late afternoon light.
Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,
and my bicycle never leaned against the garage
as it does today,
all the dark blue speed drained out of it.

This is the beginning of sadness, I say to myself,
as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.
It is time to say good-bye to my imaginary friends,
time to turn the first big number.

It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
If you cut me I could shine.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees. I bleed.

-- Billy Collins

9.05.2009

evolution of bowler hats


chaplin made it iconic.

magritte made it surreal

then kundera had to sex it up...

inspired by sabine?

oh... tres chic...


is it bad that i want one?

9.02.2009

current obsessions

I told my friend that whenever I have any bit of downtime at work, I like to frequent fashion blogs of pretty girls. She told me that it must be depressing, but actually I get really happy looking at pretty people or pretty things. The world is in need of some pretty these days.

I went through this phase last year where I wanted to read up on famous "muses" (or I guess the wives/girlfriends/mistresses of famous men).

I read biographies on the Beatles ladies (Pattie Boyd, Yoko Ono, Jane Asher, Maureen Starkey) and JFK's women (Jackie Onassis, Marilyn Monroe) & Factory Girl Edie Sedgwick.

Now I'm going a "famous women leaders" phase...


benazir bhutto- the late, former prime minister of pakistan



she's such a beauty

&

gloria arroyo- philippines president

love the dress~ haha
&

laura bush <3


So I guess she doesn't really fit in this category since technically she's a first lady, but hey- she gets more love than her husband... that's for sure. Also, did you know she got a masters in library science too?

something is really wrong with me

i woke up this morning really wanting a pink blazer.


even the king of thailand has one! not fair!

9.01.2009

nom nom nom

I've been surviving off a diet of pain-killers & ice cream. how loverly!

On Saturday, while I was writhing in pain over pulling out my wisdom tooth, I started to dangerously flirt with the idea that death might be a better alternative than suffering like this. I haven't had thoughts like that since... climbing the half-dome. As I tossed & turned, gurgling blood from my mouth, my family was busily preparing for dinner (we had invited the next-door neighbors over). When I was starting to feel a little bit better and less suicidal/delusional, I asked if anyone could buy me some yogurt. A simple request from a beloved sister/daughter in agony, no? Well, everyone was too busy or had their hands full or whatnot, and I just sat there- uncared for and neglected. I couldn't help but to think silly thoughts like"well, if i had a boyfriend, he would be willing to buy me yogurt from the market!" But, alas, I have none.

Things I have been craving:
1. Strawberry Yan Yan's (yes still, but some days it's chocolate... i'm a fickle one)
2. Re-reading Kundera
3. Swimming in an indoor pool (too many ashes!)
4. Listening to 2ne1's reggae remix of "I Don't Care" (forgot to input it in my ipod... dagnabbit!)
5. Dim sum

I think it's the Rob Fleming in me, but I like to make lists in fives. Sometimes it'll only get to four, and I have to force one out just to make it complete (dim sum was the late add).

oh~ which reminds me, I'll be seeing Nick Hornby @ the Skirball next month! Anyone interested-> http://www.skirball.org/index.php?option=com_ccevents&scope=prgm&task=detail&oid=635