yo adrian

love the romantic storyline in rocky.

rocky & adrian's first date was so endearingly awkward.


watching this film made me grow a soft spot for honest, unpretentious meatheads.

the ryan gosling effect

i have always had an affinity towards the underdog. there is something that feels morally right & ultimately rewarding about rooting for something or someone that is overlooked and not naturally designed to win.  david vs. goliath. the weak vs. the strong.  i think this type of mentality also accounts for the part of me that likes to like things that no one cares or even knows about. my own niche group of likes & interests. this obscure indie band is an underdog. this unknown author whose book i picked up randomly - he's an underdog too.  most artists are underdogs until they get "discovered."

on the flip side, i also find myself hating stuff that is too "popular" (i.e. the lakers, john mayer, dragon tattoo books)... i know, how noncomformist/hipster of me!  i think a small part of me seeks "fairness" and feels that love should be equally distributed, while another part of me genuinely thinks that these "popular" things are just overly-hyped when it comes down to it. i think even harry potter is overrated (i know some of my friends would want to kill me right now).

that is why i tried so hard to not like ryan gosling. he's like that heartthrob at your school that everyone likes, and you keep telling yourself he is lame & so undeserving of the attention, but then when he smiles at you while walking past each other down the hall - you find yourself feeling faint. the reason why i even bring this all up is that i was once again reminded of his perfection today while watching "the gangster squad." what would've otherwise been a mediocre, overly violent movie was single-handedly redeemed by ryan himself.

everyone watched "the notebook" at one point in their lives (at least in the female population), and every single woman fell in love with ryan gosling.  i actually didn't like "the notebook" much at all (i found the old lady version of Rachel McAdams supercreepy - didn't help that i saw her in "The Skeleton Key" first), but even then i couldn't deny Noah's charm (oh, Noah is Gosling's character in the movie just in case you didn't know).   but my dislike for the movie was still there, so his charm didn't have its full-blown effect on me.  then i saw him  one of my favorite movies to date, "Blue Valentine":

and that's when i fell in love. the young version of ryan gosling's character dean is very reminiscent of the young noah. both scrappy, dreamy young guys who can charm your pants off.  they have their oh-so-idealistic "love-can-conquer-all" badge on their tattered sleeves the same way leo once did on the titanic (it seems as though only poor guys can pull this off? rich guys are the villains, apparently). but the thing that tugs the hearts of all womankind is their resolute, one-track devotion to their girlfriends who later become their wives.  there's nothing that says "i love you" (*spoiler alert*) like punching another guy in the face, pretending to jump off a ferris wheel, building a house for you, and fathering a child that is so obviously not his.  of course both movies (especially "Blue Valentine") end in not-so-happy endings, but don't need to get into that right now.

and i think maybe the loophole is that he always (on the surface) plays the underdog (with the exception of "crazy, stupid, love" where he played the regular male peacock): he's always the misunderstood street rat character with the heart of gold. anywho - there's just something about ryan and his easy smile & boyish charm that makes us all a little weak inside. and if it doesn't... i question if you're a human or an android.

that is why i'm not ashamed to say that i work for a company that "hearts" gosling even more than i do. time & time & time again.

one sat morning

Today as I was walking around the city, I passed by a real-life toy soldier in the F.A.O. Schwartz window display.   He beamed a bright, toothy smile at me as he pressed his trumpet up to his lips.  I couldn't help but to smile back at this handsome lad.  I was almost tempted to go inside (not because I wanted to stalk the cute toy soldier) but because I love toy stores... they feel like "Christmas." 

The toy soldier also made me think of the trumpets vs saxophones dichotomy among guys (here comes some more brash generalizations delivered by Yours Truly): Trumpet players tend to be more upright, wholesome, straight-laced gentlemen, while saxophone players are more free-flowing, sensual, "cool" guys who go with their emotions.  That's why you don't see any toy soldiers playing saxophones (or do you?)

Which do you prefer: trumpets or saxophones?

I always thought I was a sax kind of girl, but as I grow older - I realized that maybe I need a trumpeter.

Anywho, that was the random thought of the day.

Please, please watch this movie:
 
It'll make life a little bit brighter.

beginners

great film by Mike Mills. i feel inclined to doodle and listen to piano-heavy jazz tunes.

*****

Hal: Well, let's say that since you were little, you always dreamed of getting a lion. And you wait, and you wait, and you wait, and you wait but the lion doesn't come. And along comes a giraffe. You can be alone, or you can be with the giraffe.

Oliver: I'd wait for the lion.

Hal: That's why I worry about you.

but thats ok!

Instead of taking advantage of the first true winter snowfall and going snowboarding this weekend, I decided to be anti-social and netflix the day away. I'm getting too content with just being a homebody, and my ever-growing grandma behavior is really starting to scare me. I think there's a certain type of burden for those who are single in their 20's in a place like NYC - You're supposed to go out! Meet people! Make the most out of your (disappearing) youth!

As for now, I'll blame my hermit-like tendencies on the weather. I promise I'll be better in the Spring.

While I was browsing through the netflix inventory, I came across this really offbeat, but cute Korean film.


It's a very "4-d" love story about two weirdos who are stuck in a mental institution. Also thinking ahead (because that's what I do), I thought it would be a very cute Halloween costume to dress up as the main girl character "Young-goon" (though it would be awfully obscure- therefore, making it pretty pointless). Even dressing up as "Alex" from Clockwork Orange last year was too obscure of a reference. (Charlie Chaplin, is that you?)

the unconverted

While at home, I have been fully engaging in the art of "vegging" as I've been eating everything in sight (and silently regretting it afterwards) and watching a slew of random films/clips/shows/etc.

I watched this documentary called "Repatriation", a recommendation from my brother. This doc is about North Korean spies who were captured and imprisoned for 35+ years. Throughout the span of decades, these prisoners were brutally tortured, yet they refused to denounce their faith and ideology. Finally in the 90's, these "unconverted" were released and had to somehow manage living their new lives in South Korea as they grieve for their homeland.

Some main takeaways from this film:

I think whenever I see people who live for something greater than themselves, greater than their close vicinity of their family and friends - it really puts me in awe. The society that we live in and the generation that we are a part of, tends to focus on personal goals and interests; we are obsessed with our Facebook profiles, our resumes, our career goals, our retirement plans. Maybe it's the tragic flaw of living in such an overly abundant, individualistic hodgepodge of a nation. But when I see these men who will go through sheer torture for the sake of their nation, and will probably never get recognized or redeemed for their selfless actions, I can't help but feel a deep respect for these men but possibly an even stronger sense of confusion at their situation. The resilience of the human mind & heart can be an amazing, yet incredibly scary thing.

While watching the film, I also noticed that these North Korean men come off as pretty normal, intelligent, often warm-hearted individuals. They are not closed-off, robotic people, but they remind me of those nice grandpas that I would meet at my local Korean church. The only (fundamental) thing that sets them apart is their overzealous tendencies towards their "Great Leader" and their country. But then, I think of their fanaticism and juxtapose them to those who are followers of Christ. How is their die-hard dedication to their ideology and beliefs all that different from long-time Christians or other people who were somewhat "born into a religion"? Just to be clear, I'm not talking about the beliefs in and of itself, but how they came to believe. I'm not trying to look down on those who were born into a Christian household or who grew up their whole lives going to church, but it's somewhat similar in that you kind of grow up with "blind faith." Your mind is so "trained" to think a certain way- to think otherwise would mean to adopt a whole new worldview and uprooting the foundation of your life's values. But then again, it's kind of an unfair comparison. At least with Christians who live in the U.S., there is room to doubt... there is an open forum and mass media that allows us to see different sides and often more dominant opposing views. Whereas in NK, that's all you come to know and are exposed to, so can I really be surprised at these men and their uncompromising allegiance to the juche idea? If I happened to be born in NK, wouldn't I pretty much have the same type of single-minded loyalty?

Another thing that really hit me was how the North Koreans were still so passionate about the idea of going back home and becoming repatriated even after decades passed. As I've been spending the past several vacation days in California, the place where I was born and raised, I feel a tinge of restlessness and am pretty excited to head back to New York. Even though I have lived in SoCal the past 20+ years of my life, this concept of home has been fleeting one as I've grown a community in my NY and started to slowly grow apart from most people in Cali (with the exception of my family and closest friends, of course). However, these NK men are still so adamant about returning home (some who already have family in South Korea) and dream of the day when they are back in their homeland. Of course, their circumstances are far different from mine (they were forcibly estranged from their families and their homes), but it's still amazing to me how their will and determination haven't even slightly waned over the course of many years.

***

There was this poignant scene where one of the men, Kim Sun Myung, was briefly reunited with his NK mother (who is terminally ill at his point) after over 45 years of separation. He breaks down in sobs and starts hugging her and asking her "Mother, can you see me? Do you remember my face?" And she replies " I can't see you, because it's dark, but I know it's you. When I'm alone at home, I can see your face. I can see your face so clearly in my mind."

jan 2012

from paris je t'aime's "bastille"

"By acting like a man in love, he became a man in love again."

self-made men/women

As I was taking cover for Hurricane Irene yesterday, I decided to watch "Coco Avant Chanel"- a biopic depicting the early life of Coco Chanel.


It's amazing to see how this girl who was practically an orphan was able to overcome the traps of poverty & a rigid, chauvinistic society and build one of the largest fashion dynasties in the world. And it was interesting to see the influence of the men in her life from the Baron, whose life and kingdom she weaseled her way into through the most aggressive means, to Boy Capel, the love of her life who gently encouraged her to pursue her gifts.

In a world where woman weren't supposed to work and were only seen as accessories to men, she was able to revolutionize the fashion industry by becoming the first female designer and entrepreneur. In a world of excess and frivolity, she was able to showcase a style based on simplicity and elegance (i.e. the little black dress, two-piece suits).

"As soon as you set foot on a yacht you belong to some man, not to yourself, and you die of boredom."- coco chanel

I've been going on a binge of reading up and researching these type of rags-to-riches stories, specifically on people who come from less-than-fortunate backgrounds and truly pursued what they loved. With all the recent news about Steve Jobs stepping down, I started researching (or googling) on his life, and I was blown away by his story. From being an adoptee to being let go from his own company to suffering from cancer and other health problems, this brilliant man has gone through a helluva lot. But his technological prowess, his emphasis on aesthetics, his hunger for innovation, and his love for his craft pulled him through even the darkest of times.

Unlike his rather 'square' contemporaries, Steve Jobs has the unique gift of knowing what consumers want in their products. I still remember my brother criticizing me for getting my first iBook when I was 18, saying that the only reason I wanted it was because it was "pretty." Which was entirely true (though I didn't admit it at the time), and Steve Jobs knew that.

My friend sent me this clip of a commencement speech he gave back in '05:


I know commencement speeches can be a bit gimmicky and "for show", but listening to this speech made me want to re-evaluate my life path. It made me really think about what I truly value & love and how these things can translate into a career. I'm still thinking.

my sentiment exactly

"une femme est une femme"- my first jean luc godard film. it was so light, cute, and silly. and anna karina is just gorgeous. i thoroughly enjoyed it~!

movie night

I watched "Sliding Doors" the other night (otherwise known as the movie where Gwyneth debuts her blond pixie 'do)... I remember watching the movie back when I was in grade school and even at that young age, I remember really liking it. I think I have an affinity towards any movie, book or tv show that centers around this concept of fate (that would explain why I clung onto "How I Met Your Mother" much longer than I should have). The film basically takes you down two different paths of Gwinnie's life depending on the seemingly minute detail of whether she made the subway or not.

Living in a place like NY and taking public transportation every morning and evening, I seem to be in these split-second predicaments all time:
Should I try to run and make it on this train or should I just wait for the next one?
Should I get off at 34th and walk the rest of the way to work?
Should I take the bus or the subway?
Should I take the R or just wait 5 more minutes to take the N?

In fact, even today, I decided (since it was a nice balmy night and all) that I would walk from Tribeca to 32nd st and take the bus the rest of the way to Long Island City. I wish I could say that I ran into the love of my life while I was at the bus stop (in fact, it would make this entry a lot more interesting), but 'fraid not.

Anyway, I think I'm diverging from my point, which was not to get into this huge bloated discussion about fatalism, but it was simply to say that I still really enjoyed the movie, and I forgot how kind and endearing John Hannah's character was in the film. I love the scene where Gwyneth's character Helen awkwardly runs into John Hannah's character James after they've both been waiting for the other to call.



But I had to say the movie left me feeling a bit funny, so I tried to end the night on a light note by watching "Heathers" (with the lovely Winona back in her hey-day), but that movie ended up making me feel a little strange too. So I had to resort to my current go-to mindless, feel-good film, "Easy A." Watching movies is like eating food. You want to end the night with something light and fresh to cleanse your palate.

jules et jim

under the weather

I made the conscious decision of withdrawing from most planned social activities this weekend in order to get some R & R. Something about this week felt especially draining, and I found myself getting all stuffy and sniffly (this is, of course, right after I bragged to a bunch of people how I haven't gotten really sick since my pre-college years, even while living in close corridors with highly contagious roommates).

After hours of boondoggling, I came home before midnight every night and found myself greeted by a lonely apartment and a fat cat. Anyway, so I stayed up until 5am last night watching this Korean Film called "Changing Partners":



Koreans are pretty (often times uncomfortably) racy these days. Can we go back to the days of (feigned) innocence where a graze of the pinky finger was the most "skinship" we would see? I remember this movie came out when I was in Korea, back in 2007. I actually really wanted to see it at the time, and somehow I ended up watching it 4 years later. Though the plot had some holes and the ending was kind of underwhelming, it was incredibly engaging and well-cast in my opinion. Though I have to say, it made married life seem so depressing, especially knowing that the adultery rate is incredibly high in Korea. Did you know there's an adultery law in Korea too (though I can't be too sure if it still exists now). I read somewhere that if a spouse finds the other spouse cheating, he/she can take the cheating spouse to court and even jail for civil damages. Though I'm definitely not a fan of adultery (for obvious reasons), it's strange to imagine that there would be an actual law against it. Imagine if they enacted the law in the U.S... who the heck would run the government and show business? - They'd all be behind bars.

hibernation

I'm usually a person that can survive off minimal sleep. I can stay out 'til 6am but I'll still wake up around 9am regardless. But I think all those years of sleep deprivation have caught up to me, because I have been able to sleep unhealthy amounts ever since being back in California. I think NY is like a drug that gives you a natural high, and no matter how tired you might be, once you step on the streets, you feel the adrenaline pumping in your veins. California seems to have the opposite effect: as soon as I got here, I've been feeling perpetually doozy and lethargic. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm usually the person who hates waking up late or taking naps, because it makes me feel groggy and unproductive, but right now, I have to say- it feels soooooo freaking nice.

On a related note, I think I'm the last person in the world that hasn't seen Inception. And after two insistent tries, I still am the last person in the world that hasn't seen Inception. There was so much built-up hype for this film I almost couldn't get myself to watch it. But my brother bought the blu-ray version, and it quickly became one of the less ambitious items on my Christmas break to-do list. I was really excited but as soon as I would start watching the movie, I would inconveniently start getting extreeeemely sleepy. I was trying to fight every fiber of my being to stay awake (isn't that the most painful feeling in the world?), but my eyelids just would not listen. I made it to the 15 minute mark on the first try, and on the second attempt, my brother asked, "are you really not gona fall asleep this time?" And I did, an hour through. The second time around, I actually woke up at the last scene, and I thought to myself "wow... that was a really good ending." Maybe it's because the movie is about dreaming, so it has this power to lull me to sleep. The concept is truly interesting... very Matrix-like with the alternate worlds and worlds within worlds (or dreams within dreams)... while it also reminded me of Eternal Sunshine with its messing with people's minds and subconscious. At times, it felt a little gimmicky, the dialogue felt kind of elementary, and I think they could have casted someone else for Ellen Page's character. But before I judge, maybe I should watch the whole movie from inception to completion (lame, I know).

textually competent

I remember my cousin telling me that the only thing more dangerous than a handsome man is a man who talks well. And I'd have to agree... I'm sucha sucker for talkers! There's nothing more attractive than a man who can carry on a good conversation and articulate his thoughts... (but really is that too much to ask for?!) I always think of the movie Meet Joe Black... I think it's the beginning scene where Brad Pitt's character first meets Claire Forlani's character in a diner and they're just chatting it up (you know right before the most ridiculous scene ever where he gets hit by the car outta nowhere?)... I just think he is SO charming in that scene, and I think that's the first/only time I really found the guy irresistibly attractive.

But now that we're in the "digital age," i feel written communication is sometimes even more important than verbal communication.

I find myself going gaga over guys who can write eloquent emails, smart blog entries, and witty texts. Ugh... witty texts are killer. But it's kind of tricky, because it's almost like they have to have the right amount of cutesiness or it's just gross/lame. I remember in Korea, all the guys would write really cutesy texts even if they're not necessarily a cutesy person in real life. It was so strange. I remember telling people that they must all have some kind of texting handbook that they follow. No joke.

and I end with this note:
you led me on with your emoticonz.
sending me winks with your semi-colonz.

shallow.

I was looking through the Oscar nominations this year, and I feel like I'm in the dark on a majority of the nominated films. As I was skimming through the lists, I realized that I am totally shallow with my movie preferences.

Among critically acclaimed films, I tend to avoid the grittier films such as "Precious," "Crazy Heart," or "The Hurt Locker," and prefer watching the highly stylized "A Single Man" or streamlined "Up in the Air."

I like the candy-colored Wes Anderson flicks (even their DVD cases are uber cute) to films like "There Will be Blood" and "No Country for Old Men"- movies that make me feel like I need to wash my face and clear the dust in my eyes/nose.

I guess its aesthete in me... I was always that annoying girl who needed to adorn my pages with hearts (a la Stacey McGill from the BSC)... that girl who cares what color boba straw she gets... that girl whose mood matches her polka-dotted underwear.

I am so concerned with packaging (graphic designers have careers because of people like me) that I sometimes value it more than the product itself.

Basically, I like pretty things. Is that so wrong?

we heart the 90's

So there's been all this talk about a 90's party comin' up.

It's kind of sad how we can actually refer back to the 90's now as if it was some golden age way back in the distant past?

I know everyone watched Saved by the Bell... but did anyone watch this show???

The best part is that one of the main characters is a girl named Julie who played for the guys' basketball team. She was my hero~


i really feel like watching this movie right now and eating gross gas station junk food.

who shall i dress up as?
a). 1/3 of TLC
b). 1/5 of the Spice Girls
c). Gwen Stefani
d). Cher from Clueless
e). Typical Asian girl with Bebe shirt, black shiny dress pants, and platform sandals

The possibilities are endless!

my most exciting day at work

One (seemingly) average day, back at my old job at the publishing company, I was going about my business in my cubicle when I heard a group of people behind me (it sounded like my boss was giving them a tour of the office). I figured it was some folks from our east coast branch. Well, I was about to get up to go to the kitchen(I wanted to avoid the uncomfortable, yet obligatory niceties of having to be introduced and yadda yadda), but just as I was about to get off my seat, I made eye contact with one of the girls in the group. This girl looked scarily similar to Lindsay-freaking-Lohan.

Stunned and a bit star struck, I plopped back in my seat and I emailed my coworkers: "Is that Lindsay Lohan in the office????!!!!!" as I tried to keep my composure.

I was in disbelief. What the heck would a Hollywood superstar like Lindsay Lohan be doing in our unglamorous, humdrum office? It just made no sense.

My friend even made a cartoon of the incident:


But later on that day, I found out that it was indeed Miss Lohan, and she came to our office to research for a role in her next film, in which she plays an employee at a publishing company. Didn't know she was so serious about her craft!

Anyway, so this weekend, my old coworkers and I decided to have a little mini-reunion and finally watch this infamous film (which went straight to DVD btw):


Brief synopsis:
A young woman pretends to be pregnant in order to avoid being fired from her job. When that gets her special treatment by everyone involved in her life, she tries to keep up the lie for nine months.

It's more horrible than it sounds.

But it was fun trying to make any connection possible (as outlandish as they were) to our old office.
Hey~ their office has a secretary like ours!
Oh! They have a copy machine!
They have morning meetings like we do!

But it just goes to show that even when you think your mindless job is meaningless not only to you but to the world, it does make a difference to someone somewhere out there. In our case, it helped give birth to this little treasure of a movie. Bravo~

rawr.

to usher in the new year

in search of a midnight kiss



My friend's boyfriend's in the movie. He's the guy with the Asian girlfriend who offers the male protagonist a bunch of condoms.

(i spy Miss Geist from Clueless).