blue tuesday

Something that I never really experienced until I came to NY was this interaction/relationship you have with your doormen.  These doormen you see day in & day out; they probably know about your patterns more than you do by the way you scramble out the apt every morning, the packages you receive once in a blue moon, the visitors you get late at night.  We have three doormen (now four I believe) at my apt. building.  They all greet me very pleasantly in the mornings with their distinct "good morning ma'am!", "why hello Juuulie!" or "how youuu doin?"

So it kind of broke my heart when last week, I heard that the oldest doorman is terminally ill in the hospital.  Yes - he was kind of a strange one.  The one that looked pretty disheveled (I admit, I judged him) and would be a bit "overly" friendly as he jibber-jabbered comments to himself. 

But all those past feelings of annoyance and irritation at the old guy seemed so petty and mean-spirited when I found out the disheartening news.

I actually asked the younger doorman if this older man had any family & kids, and the guy said he doesn't think so and that he possibly might have a sister somewhere, but is not even sure if she's aware of his condition.  This made me even sadder.

These people you see and talk to everyday of your life (even if it's a quick salutation) - you can strangely feel their absence.

the joys of strolling

I love walking. I came back from an impromptu night stroll with a buddy of mine (I think he felt a bit obligated to walk with me, even after I assured him that I always enjoy walking by myself this late at night) - it was nice though, because we got to chat and catch up a bit.

I noticed that walking has always been one of my favorite past-times.  Ever since a young age, I'd be constantly walking around the house (at times, skipping on my couches), because I think it was some type of physical (& mental) release.  As a child with a busy mind & an overactive imagination, I just couldn't sit still and think/imagine properly.  As my mind is churning, my body had to be active also.

I remember when reading Steve Job's biography that he loved taking walks whether it was with his son for some good quality time or his partners working out deals.

I like taking walks by myself because it helps me organize my thoughts.  Though I also find these quiet times necessary for me even if means I'm thinking about absolutely nothing and just observing the random happenings on the streets.

Look at Colin Firth - all brooding/pensive as he's walking around the neighborhood.

I also enjoy walking with company.  Some of my favorite things to do when I go back home is to go on my ritual morning walks with my mom - sometimes my dad joins in too, but he can't hang (physically) the whole time. It's our special, quality time together as a family as we find ourselves pretty much talking about anything from our family to relationships to careers to God.  I also think that's one of my favorite things to do on a date.  It's much more relaxed than sitting down at the table for dinner and just conversing over drinks, because in both those cases you're pretty much stationary at a table - just staring across at each other.  Nothing to fill in the silences but blank, awkward stares as you nervously crumple your napkin and sip your water for the upteenth time.  Whereas if you're walking, you can focus on walking and looking at the things around you, so the awkward silences don't seem so obvious.

My pastor told us he goes on walks with his wife everyday and it's kind of become their "thing."  I hope that whoever I end up with in the long run, won't mind a bit of walking either...