adorable.

my favorite 12 year old:

thrift

Now that I'm a certified recessionista, I realized I need to be more careful about my spendings.

I feel like I'm becoming more cheap- uhh... I mean frugal- than I was in my toilet paper-stealing, dorm-meal-mooching college days.

I find myself declining on social activities unless it's *really worth it.* Back in the day when I was young and wild and free (or oblivious to money troubles), I would jump at the chance to attend events or parties or pretty much any type of outing. But nowadays, I find myself meticulously calculating in my head: Who's going? How often do I see these people? How much do I care about them? How far is the drive? Is it worth wasting gas? How much will I need to spend? Is there cover charge?

^Sounds horrible, no?

So that explains why my entertainment/recreational activities lately consist of going to the library (yes I'm a giant nerd) and watching movies with free movie tickets (recommendations: Star Trek & 17 again!)

Though I could call myself a foodie (I thoroughly appreciate delicious foodz and fine dining), I am also a creature of survival... meaning that if I'm by myself and trying to save money, I'm fine with some rice and seaweed. I think that's why my culinary skills are so... basic. I'll be content with a PB&J sandwich for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Unfortunately, I don't think my future hubby and kids will be too fond of that.

One vow I will publicly declare (Because I realize I don't keep my promises unless I openly state them):

I WILL NOT buy anymore clothes until I've worn all the clothes I currently own at least once (and the same with shoes).

It's funny because I clean out my closet every few months, and in those few months I'll have more and more stuff to throw away. An article of clothing can depreciate in value in a matter of days. Especially if there are more clothes items that are added to the mix. It's a cyclical process. But I figure if I stop buying new clothes, I'll have to do with the resources that I already have. I guess that calls for more creativity on my end.

mind-boggling #1

wedding/funeral invites on facebook.

i just dont get it.

btw this baby is too cute to be real.

oh the places you'll go!

I was driving 'round town today, and I realized how relative distance can be.

Back in high school, I used to think my friend jane lived SO far from me. In fact, my friends and I would call go as far as to calling her house "China."

"Jane wants us to go pick her up..."

"Ugh we seriously have to drive all the way to CHINA?!"

But in fact, according to Googlemaps, her home is only a measly 2.5 miles away from mine. That's less than a 5k mini-marathon! (I should know... I ran one this past Christmas...) But you have to understand this was back in the day when all my buddies lived within walking distance from each other... Back when all we knew was Wilson High School, Puente Hills Mall, Thomas S. Burton Park, etc. Back when Brea Mall was quite a venture and a drive to Third Street Promenade was practically considered a road trip.

But now that our worlds are bigger and better, "China" is only a busstop away.

Having explored the far ends of the earth (or more like bits and pieces of Europe on the most haphazard Spring Break tour & a few more substantial trips to countries/islands in Asia), my standards have gotten higher as well.

I have this wanderlust... hence my blog url and headline. And it doesn't help that I carry this (sometimes misleading) romantic notion of faraway places. That's why I was so happy living in Seoul for the 5 months I was there. Even if I would be spending an average day walking around on the streets all by my lonesome and reading a book on the subway, it would feel THAT much cooler because I was in a different country. If I did the same here, I would just feel like a loser.

That's why the thought of moving back to this small armpit of a hometown made me die a little inside. I associated this town with everything ugly. Ugly street signs. Ugly houses. Ugly people with ugly driving. Ugly fob haircuts.

And I tried everything in my power to stay out of it. But now I realized I cannot fight it any longer. Whenever there was the option of Fight vs. Flight, I always chose the latter. Even in my relationships, when I didn't want to deal with people, I just fled. The main reason I moved out to West LA initially was because of a conflict I didn't want to deal with at home.

But I realized I cannot flee anymore and must embrace the ugliness. Or find some kind of beauty in it- whatever that may be.

From the wise words of Alain de Botton in his essays "The Art of Travel":

Home, by contrast, finds us more settled in our expectations. We feel assured that we have discovered everything interesting about our neighborhood, primarily by virtue of our having lived there a long time. It seems inconceivable that there could be anything new in a place where we have been living for a decade or more. We have become habituated and therefore blind to it. De Maistre tried to shake us from our passivity. In his second volume of room travel, "Nocturnal Expedition around My Bedroom," he went to his window and looked up at the night sky. Its beauty made him feel frustrated that such ordinary scenes were not more generally appreciated: 'How few people are right now taking delight in this sublime spectacle that the sky lays on uselessly for dozing humanity! What would it cost those who are out for a walk or crowding out of the theatre to look up for a moment and admire the brilliant constellations that gleam above their heads?' The reason people were not looking was that they had never done so before. They have fallen into the habit of considering their universe to be boring- and their universe had duly fallen into line with their expectations."

There are some who have crossed deserts, floated on ice caps and cut their way through jungles but whose should we would search in vain for what they have witnessed. Dressed in pink and blue pyjamas, satisfied within the confines of his own bedroom, Xavier de Maistres was gently nudging us to try, before taking off for distant hemispheres, to notice what we've already seen.

ps. totally unrelated but i saw yann tiersen (amelie soundtrack guy) this month and he was amazing.

muss es sein?

I have been in a match-making mood lately. I find it a hobby to go through my card catalogue of people (as limited as it may be) and try to think of possible love connections.

Though my single attempt at it didn't go quite as planned... I refuse to give up.

There are the kind of couples you observe, and you think of how they've come together out of comfort, convenience, or (sorry to put it bluntly) because there's nothing really better at the moment.

And then there are those who just seem to fit perfectly. The kinds you can't even imagine with anyone besides each other.

Though there is nothing necessarily wrong with the former, it's still unsettling (at least in my foolishly idealistic mindset) to witness the latter and be able to live without it.

For some reason as I was skimming/reviewing that short stack of people I know, this person that I haven't thought about since high school came to mind. I remembered him because he had a very distinct personality- very lively with a very quirky sense of humor that only a very small, select group of people might appreciate. Then, I suddenly thought of a girl who I currently know but hardly talk to who would definitely appreciate this kind of humor and would readily reciprocate it. Even just the thought of the two of them standing side by side seemed to make sense to me. But I lost complete contact with one (plus I think he has a girlfriend), and I hardly talk to the other.

But just knowing how completely perfect they could be and how impossible it all seemed, saddened me to a great extent.

Why am I sad by this?

It obviously wasn't meant to be... I mean the two never even met.

But it made me sad to think of all the people... all the possible pairings out there that would be so great together who will never be. I feel sad for all the people that should be together but are not.

This isn't the type of attitude a devout fatalist should have, should it?

m.i.a.

q: where in the world is carmen sandiego?

a: being a shameless fob tourist.

me loves me some harrison.

still in my awkward stages

'twas snowing that day

bart

homey!

love- sputnik sweet <3