5.12.2009

muss es sein?


I have been in a match-making mood lately. I find it a hobby to go through my card catalogue of people (as limited as it may be) and try to think of possible love connections.

Though my single attempt at it didn't go quite as planned... I refuse to give up.

There are the kind of couples you observe, and you think of how they've come together out of comfort, convenience, or (sorry to put it bluntly) because there's nothing really better at the moment.

And then there are those who just seem to fit perfectly. The kinds you can't even imagine with anyone besides each other.

Though there is nothing necessarily wrong with the former, it's still unsettling (at least in my foolishly idealistic mindset) to witness the latter and be able to live without it.

For some reason as I was skimming/reviewing that short stack of people I know, this person that I haven't thought about since high school came to mind. I remembered him because he had a very distinct personality- very lively with a very quirky sense of humor that only a very small, select group of people might appreciate. Then, I suddenly thought of a girl who I currently know but hardly talk to who would definitely appreciate this kind of humor and would readily reciprocate it. Even just the thought of the two of them standing side by side seemed to make sense to me. But I lost complete contact with one (plus I think he has a girlfriend), and I hardly talk to the other.

But just knowing how completely perfect they could be and how impossible it all seemed, saddened me to a great extent.

Why am I sad by this?

It obviously wasn't meant to be... I mean the two never even met.

But it made me sad to think of all the people... all the possible pairings out there that would be so great together who will never be. I feel sad for all the people that should be together but are not.

This isn't the type of attitude a devout fatalist should have, should it?



1 comment:

jane said...

haha u r so cute.

muss es sein. sigh.