Renaissance

It was not itself a new religion, for it contained no trace of belief and imposed no duties. Yet unless I am greatly mistaken there was in it something very like adoration, some kind of quite disinterested self-abandonment to an object which securely claimed this by simply being the object it was. We are taught in the prayer book to "give thanks to God for His great glory," as if we owed Him more thanks for being what He necessarily is than for any particular benefit He confers upon us; and so indeed we do and to know God is to know this. But I had been so far from any such experience; I came far nearer feeling this about the Norse gods whom I disbelieved in than I had ever done about the true God which I believed. Sometimes I can almost think that I was sent back to the false gods there to acquire some capacity for worship against the day when the true God should recall me to Himself.

-C.S. Lewis, "Surprised by Joy"

carrying the weight of the nation on her willowy shoulders

no doubt+pink sparklies... i love this girl.

what is wrong with me

I think there is a slightly sadistic side of me.

Some people (like my friend Jessica) are creatures of practicality. She always knows the shortcuts to everything, always manages to do the proper research before buying anything (well with the exception of her Dell laptop), always seems to know who/what to consult for the matter at hand.

I, on the other hand, will make do for less. I never do enough research for anything I buy.

Par exemple:
my lovely new cellphone. I was planning to buy the LG enV (follow the crowd...) but after the cellphone lady told me that it would cost an extra $10/month and the phone itself is more expensive, I decided to resort to a motorola. Basically- it sucks. It lags, it's buttons are sketchy, and its sound quality is subpar. If I checked it out beforehand or asked around, I would have known better. But no, my "que sera sera" self didn't care for it so now I'm stuck with this phone for two years. Some suggested I should go back but oh well.

I remember many instances where co-workers would use my computer and ask me in pure disbelief and horror, how I could stand using such a deficient mouse (it was the roller ball kind, not the laser kind, that was basically a pain in the arse). I just shrugged and said I got used to it. Every time, they'd use my computer, they'd be like CHANGE IT ALREADY. But I didn't mind (Or maybe I did mind but convinced myself that I didn't. Maybe I did mind but was too lazy to do anything about it. I don't know.) Eventually my boss ended up using my computer one day and said my mouse was intolerable and changed it the very next day.

Maybe I am too complacent with things. I use Jessica as a prime example because she used to get so irritated at the fact that my brastraps or backpack straps were twisted. I don't know why this annoyed her to such an unspeakable degree, but she would snap at me and question how I could live like this. I, on the other hand, was not even aware of the discomfort that the twisted straps were causing. After a while, I got in the habit of checking them, just to avoid a scolding from my best friend.

Even today, Jess tries to show me shortcuts in directions or how to change the settings of my Mac (to make it more user-friendly), I brush off her suggestions, not wanting to complicate my tried-and-true methods. Ironically, my way of doing things are a lot more complicated than hers are.

t.g.i.f???

Weekends don't feel like weekends anymore.

I used to despise the whole M-F, 9-5 lifestyle. If felt so robotic, so dehumanizing. And those banal, contrived elevator conversations (with coworkers you really weren't close to) always consisted of the weekday-weekend dichotomy:

M: *exasperated sigh* Well, it's Monday again! The weekend's already over!
T: Well, it's Tuesday now... can't wait for the weekend!
W: Ah we're halfway through!
Th: We're almost there... hang on now!
F: Hallelujah! It's Friday! What are your plans for the weekend???

Like no duh, we know what day of the week it is. And we're reminded of it everyday, every hour. Always the same, stupid cycle. The same, stupid convos.


But now that I'm (kinda) out of that cycle, I miss the good ol' days when weekends were strictly for leisure activities. Looking forward to the weekend, that little bright light at the end of the tunnel, was not half bad.

Now my weekends are dedicated to studying/reading/tutoring. No ups or downs, the days all just blur together like one big blob.

lent

So I gave up two things for lent:

1. Facebook (this one seems like a popular one this year)
Which I kind of broke already because I accidentally pressed the fb tab on my bookmarks without even thinking! This is just really sad how it's almost like a natural reflex to check facebook...

2. Sweets (or to put it in more definitive terms... anything that can be classified as "dessert" including chocolate and candy)

When it comes to food, I can give up many things, but sweets are really, really hard for me. And I realized not only is my birthday during Lent season (no cake!!!!!!!!!!!), but I'll be visiting my friend's house in SF next weekend and her sister is a renowned pastry chef!!!!

A: monica's talking to me now
she's like i'll make donuts!!
what if she makes them with cheese?
not sweets?


I am going to cry.

signs of aging:

1. coffee fix every morning
2. back aches (need to wear "파스" on my back)
3. preference of dark over milk chocolate
4. dislike of large crowds of people and loud noise
5. affinity towards 파마s (trans: middle-age lady perm)

we heart the 90's

So there's been all this talk about a 90's party comin' up.

It's kind of sad how we can actually refer back to the 90's now as if it was some golden age way back in the distant past?

I know everyone watched Saved by the Bell... but did anyone watch this show???

The best part is that one of the main characters is a girl named Julie who played for the guys' basketball team. She was my hero~


i really feel like watching this movie right now and eating gross gas station junk food.

who shall i dress up as?
a). 1/3 of TLC
b). 1/5 of the Spice Girls
c). Gwen Stefani
d). Cher from Clueless
e). Typical Asian girl with Bebe shirt, black shiny dress pants, and platform sandals

The possibilities are endless!

my most exciting day at work

One (seemingly) average day, back at my old job at the publishing company, I was going about my business in my cubicle when I heard a group of people behind me (it sounded like my boss was giving them a tour of the office). I figured it was some folks from our east coast branch. Well, I was about to get up to go to the kitchen(I wanted to avoid the uncomfortable, yet obligatory niceties of having to be introduced and yadda yadda), but just as I was about to get off my seat, I made eye contact with one of the girls in the group. This girl looked scarily similar to Lindsay-freaking-Lohan.

Stunned and a bit star struck, I plopped back in my seat and I emailed my coworkers: "Is that Lindsay Lohan in the office????!!!!!" as I tried to keep my composure.

I was in disbelief. What the heck would a Hollywood superstar like Lindsay Lohan be doing in our unglamorous, humdrum office? It just made no sense.

My friend even made a cartoon of the incident:


But later on that day, I found out that it was indeed Miss Lohan, and she came to our office to research for a role in her next film, in which she plays an employee at a publishing company. Didn't know she was so serious about her craft!

Anyway, so this weekend, my old coworkers and I decided to have a little mini-reunion and finally watch this infamous film (which went straight to DVD btw):


Brief synopsis:
A young woman pretends to be pregnant in order to avoid being fired from her job. When that gets her special treatment by everyone involved in her life, she tries to keep up the lie for nine months.

It's more horrible than it sounds.

But it was fun trying to make any connection possible (as outlandish as they were) to our old office.
Hey~ their office has a secretary like ours!
Oh! They have a copy machine!
They have morning meetings like we do!

But it just goes to show that even when you think your mindless job is meaningless not only to you but to the world, it does make a difference to someone somewhere out there. In our case, it helped give birth to this little treasure of a movie. Bravo~

fangirl

omg. can it be? my two favorite boys in one room.

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& the hilarity ensues...

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ridiculous korean boy band names

H.O.T.= High 5 Of Teenagers
G.O.D.= Groove Over Dose
M.B.L.A.Q.= Music Boys Live in Absolute Quality
B.E.A.S.T.= Boys of the East Standing Tall
F.C.U.Z.= Four Cuz= Focus
U.K.I.S.S.= Ubiquitous Korean International Super Star


BIG BANG > stupid acronyms

On Joy.

...it is that of an unsatisfied desire which is itself more desirable than any other satisfaction. I call it Joy, which is here a technical term and must be sharply distinguished both from Happiness and from Pleasure. Joy (in my sense) has indeed one characteristic, and one only, in common with them; the fact that anyone who has experienced it will want it again. Apart from that, and considered only in its quality, it might almost equally well be called a particular kind of unhappiness or grief. But then it is a kind we want. I doubt whether anyone who has tasted it would ever, if both were in his power, exchange it for all the pleasures in the world. But then Joy is never in our power and pleasure often is.

-C.S. Lewis, Surprised by Joy

there are some people/things in the world that you really try to tell yourself that you don't like but you can't help but to love.

opposites attract

I think I heard from somebody or somewhere that we tend to be subconsciously attracted to people who have opposite features from our own. I heard it's like a natural tendency so that our children's genes can be balanced out (somewhat). So it's a little strange to me when I see couples that look like they can be siblings.

I have very rounded features (kind of bear-like), and I notice that I'm more attracted (strictly physically) to guys who have more bird-like features (very sharp nose, skinny face).

Par exemple:
have always had a soft spot for this one.

my latin lahver.

ben>noel

ever since City of God...

My fave in Korea.



Kind of on the extreme end, but still borderline attractive.

I also like tan, warm skin. And smooth, dark, thin arms. Why am I sharing this? I have no idea.

can we be in NY already...?

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congrats to stephen on the grammy! well-deserved, my man. <3

on a tangent:

love her style!