people i don't get

i had a nice little impromptu play-date with a friend this week post-hurricane sandy.  it was so lovely - we ate beard papa's while we discussed our favorite books & music.

we were both sharing our disdain towards people who hate reading and/or books.  i might come off a little elitist and pretentious (as some people have already labeled me), but i don't care - because i think it's pretty sad that reading has become an "elitist" activity (especially considering that libraries are free to anyone). 

but living in this A.D.D. generation obsessed with instant gratification, taking the time to actually sit down to read a book (or even a long article) can be considered a tedious activity.  it's sad, yet understandable. but i think something that boggles my mind even more are people who are indifferent towards music.  i actually have a friend who once told me "i don't really care for music."  how...why... i don't even understand that statement.  it's like saying you hate puppies - it doesn't make sense. it's not human.

i remember i actually gave up music one time for lent.  i was able to manage, but it was a quite dreary 40 days.  yes - i became more aware of the outside world as i wasn't consumed in my own world within my headphones, but i felt my soul was starving for its usual musical accompaniment.

as mentioned before, i don't care too much about the details about my future wedding (if i have one), but the one detail i will fuss over will be the music.  i will not allow any overly cheesy/bad music at my wedding.  never!  i will curate each and every song on that playlist to perfection.

in Walter Isaacson's biography on Steve Jobs, there was a story about Jobs meeting Yo-Yo Ma.  upon hearing Yo-Yo Ma play a piece by Bach, Job's actually teared up and told him "You playing is the best argument I've ever heard for the existence of God, because I don't really believe a human alone can do this."


and speaking of yo yo, i love this (& many other) npr tiny desk concert series:

music is my boyfriend

For this lent season, I decided to fast music. I can honestly say this is the hardest thing I've ever fasted. I knew right when I decided to commit to it (and believe me it didn't come about easily...), that it wasn't going to be the same as fasting sweets or shopping. A friend told me I had to give up something that would "hurt." Or otherwise, what's the point, right? I crave songs sometimes the same way others crave food or sleep. When I walk around, ride the subway, do my work, go running- I always needed the background noise to fill in the void. Putting on my headphones allowed me to seep into my own dreamy, little world where life is made sweeter by pretty melodies and moods can be adjusted according to playlists.

I was especially dependent on music when I would run; it was like my fuel, providing me with a steady beat that would chug me along. When I first started running without music, I yearned to hear some Strokes or Phoenix in the background to get me pumped (I would get a little delirious and start humming or thinking of songs in my head). But my efforts were futile as all I could hear was the sound of my own heavy stomping and wheezing... not really the picker-upper I needed.

Though at first, it felt really empty, lifeless, and pretty 썰렁해 without having a constant soundtrack to my life, I've learned to appreciate the sound of silence. Which isn't actually silence at all... I have become more aware and mindful of my surroundings. I can actually hear and partake in the conversations around me at work. I take notice of the kids playing at the park or even the leaves on the trees (and more importantly, the horse poop on the ground). The stillness allows to me hear my own thoughts, and it's even opening up a better channel of communication with God.

Yet, 4/24 still seems so far away.

lent

So I gave up two things for lent:

1. Facebook (this one seems like a popular one this year)
Which I kind of broke already because I accidentally pressed the fb tab on my bookmarks without even thinking! This is just really sad how it's almost like a natural reflex to check facebook...

2. Sweets (or to put it in more definitive terms... anything that can be classified as "dessert" including chocolate and candy)

When it comes to food, I can give up many things, but sweets are really, really hard for me. And I realized not only is my birthday during Lent season (no cake!!!!!!!!!!!), but I'll be visiting my friend's house in SF next weekend and her sister is a renowned pastry chef!!!!

A: monica's talking to me now
she's like i'll make donuts!!
what if she makes them with cheese?
not sweets?


I am going to cry.