food philosophy

A caring friend asked me the other day how I lost so much weight. Honestly, I didn't lose THAT much weight (it was probably less than 10 pounds over the span of a few months). I'm probably now the same size as I was right before I graduated college (actually I think I was smaller then), but I think people held onto this image of me right after I came back from Korea and ballooned up like a fatty (one friend was so shocked when I came back that he even pointed out how I got "heavy"... meanie).

Anyway, I think the friend that asked me about my weight was genuinely concerned, and at the time, I didn't necessarily feel like answering him. But now looking back, I should've just clarified, because he probably thinks now that I'm either anorexic or that I'm on drugs.

I think dieting is something really hard to do. And just making rules & restrictions for yourself never really works. It has to be a mental thing before a habitual thing.

For me, as I am balancing my work & school schedule, I find that my appetite isn't like how it used to be. I don't necessarily find it a priority to eat a delicious, filling meal for every meal. In fact, I find it a nuisance and a hindrance to my daily activities. Instead, I find myself eating because I need to have energy and because I can't function when I'm famished. I eat out of survival more than pleasure. And I don't like the feeling of getting stuffed especially when I'm at work, because it makes me feel lazy, spacey, and a little nauseous. Also, I always have a voracious appetite in the morning, whereas in the evening, I'm too tired/dazed to really crave anything so I end up eating less (I realized in my post-graduate life, that I really am a morning person... I tend to eat, exercise, and study better in the early hours). I also enjoy eating healthier foods especially homemade Korean food.

I still like eating yummy food and finding good restaurants (I love thoroughly researching on food joints!), but it's more of a fun, occasional social thing rather than an everyday thing.

My brother, on the other hand, has to eat a delicious, satisfying meal for every meal he eats, so we tend to argue. He always wants to go out and buy something to eat, and I always tell him to just eat food at home and to stop wasting money. I realized though it's just a difference in priorities. Though I find it unnecessary to eat yummy food (or food that I'm craving) all the time, I do find it necessary to wear cute clothes all the time (well not necessarily cute, but clothes that make me happy). I can't step out of the house unless I feel good (or at least okay) with what I'm wearing. I know other people such as my brother, could care less about their daily attire and probably find it ridiculous that I have to be content with my outfit selection when I'm going to the supermarket.

So loving friends, do not be alarmed. I am not throwing up my meals nor am I starving myself. I'm just living by Socrates philosophy: "Thou shouldst eat to live; not live to eat."