pourquois moi?

life has been unkind to me today.

language barriers

So my cousin always recommends me all these books by Korean authors, but then it's frustrating because I can never find any English translations for these books that she constantly raves about. I also wonder why there are no notable Korean authors in the American book market (maybe with the exception of Chang Rae Lee, though he doesn't really count because he's Korean-American). I am totally jealous of people who are fully bilingual in Korean and English (e.g. Tablo), and if I had this gift, I would quit my day job (if only I had one) and become a book translator.

Which reminds me... while I was in Korea, every single person and their moms were reading this book on the subway:


translated in Korean, or course:

And seeing how it's practically like the Twilight equivalent (in terms of popularity among the common folk, not re: content or quality), of course I wanted to get my hands on a copy.**

But then I found out there was no English translation for the book! (It's originally written in French.) What the heck? Well, I realized Koreans are huge fans of the author Bernard Werber, so I guess it would be a given that they would translate his work in Korean, but regardless~ isn't English the most popular/most-used language in the world? Wait, actually that would probably be Mandarin... but still~ English is still up there! Needless to say, I was very disappointed.

And recently, my cousin picked up the newest Murakami book from the bookstore:

and suggested we both read it together (her in Korean, me in English of course), so we can discuss it. But lo and behold- they didn't translate it into English yet! And the English translation won't be released until September 2011! Ummm... that's over a year from now. What's with the hold-up?! So as I just sit here as she gushes on about how good it is, I'm tempted to take the book and stick it in google translate. Why why why?

**(I also see everyone and their moms reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo in the subways too, but I am reluctant to read it because of the ugly cover art and the distasteful title... makes me think of aZn girls from high school sporting dragon tattoos on their backs... no thank you...)

my my metrocard

Adrian Tomine's Missed Connections

There is something inherently romantic about taking public transit. As I sit there, stealing glances at the slightly attractive guy sitting across the aisle from me, my (problematically) active imagination goes into overdrive as I start to wonder:

What is this stranger's name?
What music is he listening to, so intently, on his ipod?
Where is he going with his duffle bag?
Why does he have that scar on his elbow?

But unfortunately, not all bus/subway rides are like pretty, subtle little scenes painted from the latest romantic arthouse film.

In fact, this past week, I had to witness some extremely crass and annoying conversations conducted by wildly pubescent teenage boys. I know a friend of mine who hates babies. I know another person who can't stand loud ajuhmas. I realized that my most hated sub-class (?) of people would be teenage boys. Don't get me wrong- I do not hate all teenage boys. Some are really adorable. But at their worst, they are the most despicable type of human being.

These boys, that I encountered this week, would speak in unnecessarily loud voices about the girls they banged (excuse my lang) the other night- how good she was, how fat she was, etc. etc. And they used the most vulgar language that they could possibly use. (You know all those phrases/slangs that you look up on urban dictionary... and you want to throw up after finding out what it really means?) Okay- all right. I know guys out there in the mad, mad world hold conversations like this... I'm not completely naive. But still- spare the details for the locker room or your slumber parties or something. I'm sure I could speak for everyone on the train when I say that I do not want to hear about your guys' one-night-stands. And all the dudes were butt-ugly too, which only added to the level of disgust. I looked around and observed the other innocent bystanders on the train (especially the women) and saw some of them with patronizing smirks ("oh, boys will be boys") while some just had bemused expressions (a very common mien for subway-riders, I've observed). I don't think my look of revulsion could have been suppressed. I just sat there quietly as I shoved my headphones in my ears and let my mellow jams drown out their obnoxious voices, as I thought to myself, "This is why I never want to have daughters."

needz sum sanity

Why is it that I somehow always find myself surrounded by people with erratic behavior? I wonder how people like this can live with so much... err... "fervor"... I find it all very tiring. Most people would categorize me as a "chill" person, and I have to say that I am. Especially the past few years of my life, I've been like 0% drama- to the point where its become boring, almost.

But then again, when I come across all these crazies, it makes me just want to shrink back in my world and just want to be left undisturbed.

Whenever I'm around people like this, I feel my blood pressure slowly escalating.


sigh. but on to happier topics:

I want meself a babydaddy...

luckiest wives ever. and uhh luckiest kidz ever. Didya know Jon Stewart proposed to his wife through a crossword puzzle??? He even got Will Shortz to help him... Didn't Ray Romano propose to Deborah that way in "Everyone Loves Raymond"? I wonder who did it first...?

Dear Peanut Butter Bandit,

I'm usually not this anal when it comes to sharing my food, but I know you've been eating my peanut butter. Everyday when I reach in the cupboard to get my spoonful, I notice the jar getting lighter and lighter by the micro-ounce. Also, I see that you leave little ribbons of your Raspberry Jam in there too... i don't appreciate that... not one bit. What I don't understand is that you have your own peanut butter too- right smackin' next to MY jar nonetheless. So go eat your nasty, watery organic p.b. and get your stinky paws off my JIF. That is all.

Disgruntled and peeved,
j.h.

who ate all my peanut butter

I feel like Korean-Americans generally consider it a red flag to work for a Korean company (or business). I was really thinking about it the other day, and I feel like someone out there (I could volunteer myself) should write some kind of book/thesis about this topic.

Koreans (I'm talkin' native Koreans or fobs) have a different mentality when it comes to work. Basically, work= life... coworkers= family. There are no clear lines drawn between work life and personal life. Going out with your coworkers after work is mandatory. Drinking is mandatory as well (When I interviewed for both Samsung & KBS America, one of the interview questions was "How much can you drink?"). There are no strict hours, but you're expected to work as many hours as needed (usually working overtime without getting paid overtime). There is no yours or mine, but only ours. This might be why people will get the bizarro idea that it's okay to eat all your peanut butter in the shared fridge.

I realized one bad thing about being around too many asians is the prevalence of passive-aggressive behavior (ironic how as I blog about this, I'm also stooping to it as well ). So much backdoor gossip and indirect means of retaliation... gives me a headache. >_< I guess that's one thing I (kind of) appreciate about my family. Everyone's pretty confrontational and upfront when they don't want to do something or just don't give a hoot.

On a brighter note, did I mention how useful Urban Dictionary is? I love this site. Yeah, there are some vulgarities on there, but how else would I keep up with the up & happenin's of net lingo?


ngl
dnw
idek
idawtc
lulmuffins.




OoOoOoh do want do want!

some days

don't you just wake up and feel good about yourself and the world?

And others, you just wake up filled with nausea, self-loathing, and just overall "ickiness"?<-(really can't think of a better word to encapsulate this feeling). These past few days, I've been feeling the latter. I think it partially has to do with bad dreams. I hate not remembering my bad dreams because I feel so disoriented and vulnerable. Another part, I believe, is the effects of living at home. I know I've been living at home for nearly 8 months now, but I still feel like I'm transitioning. It's hard when you're used to living with friends and being fairly independent for 5.5 years and then coming home to a household packed with family members that like to ask you where you've been, who you were with, what you ate, etc. etc. etc.

Buuuut I should be grateful that I have a family that cares about my whereabouts and are genuinely concerned for my well-being. And I just need to stop complaining... or I'll turn into this guy:

(well, 'cept the $$$ part).

nom nom nom

I've been surviving off a diet of pain-killers & ice cream. how loverly!

On Saturday, while I was writhing in pain over pulling out my wisdom tooth, I started to dangerously flirt with the idea that death might be a better alternative than suffering like this. I haven't had thoughts like that since... climbing the half-dome. As I tossed & turned, gurgling blood from my mouth, my family was busily preparing for dinner (we had invited the next-door neighbors over). When I was starting to feel a little bit better and less suicidal/delusional, I asked if anyone could buy me some yogurt. A simple request from a beloved sister/daughter in agony, no? Well, everyone was too busy or had their hands full or whatnot, and I just sat there- uncared for and neglected. I couldn't help but to think silly thoughts like"well, if i had a boyfriend, he would be willing to buy me yogurt from the market!" But, alas, I have none.

Things I have been craving:
1. Strawberry Yan Yan's (yes still, but some days it's chocolate... i'm a fickle one)
2. Re-reading Kundera
3. Swimming in an indoor pool (too many ashes!)
4. Listening to 2ne1's reggae remix of "I Don't Care" (forgot to input it in my ipod... dagnabbit!)
5. Dim sum

I think it's the Rob Fleming in me, but I like to make lists in fives. Sometimes it'll only get to four, and I have to force one out just to make it complete (dim sum was the late add).

oh~ which reminds me, I'll be seeing Nick Hornby @ the Skirball next month! Anyone interested-> http://www.skirball.org/index.php?option=com_ccevents&scope=prgm&task=detail&oid=635

now i know better

I remember learning in my Econ class in high school that "there ain't no such thing as a free lunch."

Yes- the whole deal that everything has a cost. Even if it's only an opportunity cost and not a monetary cost.

So being the pennypincher that I am, I drove 2 miles out of the way of my usual route home to get cheaper gas. It was a whole ten cents cheaper than my usual gas station and a whopping 20 cents cheaper than the one near my house. So, I go there, all excited about the great find, but as I was pulling out the nozzle, I noticed that the pricing on the stand was the same pricing as my regular gas station. I was astounded by this and I double-checked the actual sign to see if my eyes had deceived me. But no- it wasn't my eyes that deceived me, but those sneaky gas sharks. At the bottom of the sign, in small font, it read, "With Car Wash!" I felt so cheated! At that point, I was just going to leave the gas station without getting gas just to spite them, but then I realized that I might as well get gas since I drove out there anyway.

That reminds me also of this one time when I was purchasing movie tickets online ahead of time just to secure seats. But then as I was buying the tickets, I noticed a flashy little button that said "FREE TICKETS!" Of course, I fell for this little ploy. Stupid Fandango (or whatever that website was) convinced me that I could get my tickets para gratis if I only I tried out (not even purchased) one of their advertiser's offers. So, being the naive consumer that I was, I decided to check out ONlingo, this language-learning program (I've always been meaning to brush up on my Spanish). So my "free" trial kit came in the mail later on that week, and I discovered later (in the fine print) that if I kept the kit for more than 14 days, I would have to pay $150 (or I forgot the exact amount, but it was ridiculous). So, I called the place immediately and ended up mailing back the kit. Ultimately, the cost of shipping fees+time wasted+ stress > cost of movie ticket.

So people, don't fall for these tricks. If it sounds too good to be true, then it usually isn't. Oh and ladies- beware: always know that when a guy offers to pay for dinner, it isn't free. If he buys you an ipod or a pretty necklace, those aren't free either. Think twice before accepting! That is my 2 cents for the day. See... that wasn't free either.

*_*

i feel so exhausted.
when i put food in my mouth, i can't taste it.
when i try to listen to music, i can't hear it.
when i try to watch something, my mind doesn't process it.
what do i dooooo

foul mood

things that should just die:

-bad white elephant gifts (so bad, that they're not even funny... I didn't waste my precious $10 on something good so I can get something crappy that I won't ever use just so some people can get a few laughs)
-jumping pictures (c'mon are you serious?)
-the "overwrite" mode on computers
-superpoke
-CROCS (unless you're under five years old)
-those scarfs... (I don't feel the need to explain...)
-pictures of friends captioned "go us!" or "i love us!"

and the list is growing...

It's July...

Shouldn't I be on the other side of the world right now?

Nope, I'm right here.

Slaving away forty hours a week.

Studying rigorously (?) for a test I might not even take.

Singing sweet, sweaty blues in this little hotbox of an apartment.

God help me.