pam's my hero

i get these weird cravings to watch old office clips... makes me feel uber nostalgic.

my daily dose of encouragement from my biggest frenemy

c: barf

unless you've wanted to feed someone rat poison in their sleep, you aren't that into them

stop being such an asshole towards yourself!!!!

it's so unbecoming when women are that self-deprecating
god

you're great

okay?
me: aww

u always have the right things to say

im posting u on my blog

c: ew

you just have to say "okay"

"aww" is gross

makes me all fuzzy n shit

barftastic

e.e. cummings makes me not want to capitalize or punctuate correctly

a pretty a day

a pretty a day
(and every fades)
is here and away
(but born are maids
to flower an hour
in all,all)

o yes to flower
until so blithe
a doer a wooer
some limber and lithe
some very fine mower
a tall;tall

some jerry so very
(and nellie and fan)
some handsomest harry
(and sally and nan
they tremble and cower
so pale:pale)

for betty was born
to never say nay
but lucy could learn
and lily could pray
and fewer were shyer
than doll.  doll

-e.e. cummings

music is my boyfriend

For this lent season, I decided to fast music. I can honestly say this is the hardest thing I've ever fasted. I knew right when I decided to commit to it (and believe me it didn't come about easily...), that it wasn't going to be the same as fasting sweets or shopping. A friend told me I had to give up something that would "hurt." Or otherwise, what's the point, right? I crave songs sometimes the same way others crave food or sleep. When I walk around, ride the subway, do my work, go running- I always needed the background noise to fill in the void. Putting on my headphones allowed me to seep into my own dreamy, little world where life is made sweeter by pretty melodies and moods can be adjusted according to playlists.

I was especially dependent on music when I would run; it was like my fuel, providing me with a steady beat that would chug me along. When I first started running without music, I yearned to hear some Strokes or Phoenix in the background to get me pumped (I would get a little delirious and start humming or thinking of songs in my head). But my efforts were futile as all I could hear was the sound of my own heavy stomping and wheezing... not really the picker-upper I needed.

Though at first, it felt really empty, lifeless, and pretty 썰렁해 without having a constant soundtrack to my life, I've learned to appreciate the sound of silence. Which isn't actually silence at all... I have become more aware and mindful of my surroundings. I can actually hear and partake in the conversations around me at work. I take notice of the kids playing at the park or even the leaves on the trees (and more importantly, the horse poop on the ground). The stillness allows to me hear my own thoughts, and it's even opening up a better channel of communication with God.

Yet, 4/24 still seems so far away.

run run run

The Scotland 10K is tomorrow and I'm pumped! (mmm actually probably anxious and fearful would be better words...)

And the worst thing about it is that after finishing the race tomorrow, I will be hit head-on with the scary reality that I'll have to run twice that distance the following month.

A co-worker asked me what I'm running for (pretty much asking if there's any "cause" tied to the race)... and all I could reply with was, "umm... Scotland?" I just signed up blindly, because my all the cool kids were doing it; I am so misguided & uninformed.

My running inspirations:

1. My favorite author/marathon runner:

running for discipline and literary productivity

2. My favorite childhood inspiration:

running to escape/to get to places

3. My all-time favorite:

running for no rhyme or reason

4. The most effective motivation:

running for <3

See ya at the finish line! :)