things that make me feel SUPER depresso:

1. the doom of writing papers (esp. long research papers that are 20+ pages)
2. post-thanksgiving gloom
3. icy blue Christmas lights (they should be yellow or multi-colored!)
4. Hacienda Heights
5. this intro:



but things that make me =D


would you like to swing on a star? carry moonbeams home in a jar??

i <3 youtube.

felicity

There's something about the holidays (especially Thanksgiving) that makes me really REALLY want to watch Felicity. I think it has to do something with the warm, fuzzy hues or the main characters' soft, hushed voices, but these past few days, all I just wanted to do was bundle up and watch it for hours on end.



So I went to my friends' house (who happens to have all FOUR season DVD's), and we vegged. We only got through four episodes before we ended up falling asleep... (I'm telling you it's their calm, soothing voices)

Keri Russell, though not overtly attractive or charming, is my favorite leading lady. Something about her seems so "real" to me. She is down-to-earth, emotional, thoughtful, impulsive, socially awkward, and a tad bit nerdy. But deep down, she has a heart of gold.

As Sean said (when giving Ben advice in thinking twice before dating her), "Felicity is not the girl you date... she's the girl you marry."

And I LOVE the speech she gives to Ben when she breaks up with him in Season 2:
“The truth is I can't be with you like this. I mean, I know I said that I could, but I can't. I just can't compromise myself like that. I mean I'm an emotional person. I feel things and I need to be able to get upset and talk about how I'm feeling. I mean that's just...that's who I am and I can't change it. I don't want to. And the thing is you know that, you knew it and you still pursued me because you want something with me, you just aren't strong enough to have it which...in a way makes you a coward. And the saddest part is that...one day you're gonna wake up and you're gonna realize what you missed and it's gonna be too late."

And off she goes to get her darling lil' haircut...

woooozy

I should be called the Persimmon Queen... I think I eat 3 a day. But they are so delicious I can't help myself!

My grandma told me that persimmons makes you constipated... that worried me, so I looked it up on wikipedia (my most trusted source for information har har)... but here it said that persimmons are used to "treat constipation and hemorrhoids, and to stop bleeding. As such, it is not a good idea to consume too many persimmons at once as they can induce diarrhea."

Complete opposite information... Who should I trust?

There was a guy that I had a minor crush on and he was eating persimmons too. I thought we could have been soulmates, but then I realized every Korean family has boxes and boxes of persimmons at their homes, so this was nothing special. It was as if he was eating kimchee... this shattered my dream. Being my overly eager self, I also told him to be careful because of the constipation factor... the words came out of my mouth before I could stop them. I think I was nervous. I guess when it comes down to it though, I trust my grandma over wiki...

ps.


im such a sentimentalist.

too fast to live...

its mah belly talkin'...

canned foods exhibit... closing this week!

http://www.canstructionla.com/

i should really refrain from looking at food blogs & restaurant reviews while I'm starving away at work. i should also stop stealing candies from the children.

oh & giant fork landing in pasadena!

reminds me of claes oldenburg:

love it when things are largely out of proportion!

boys

I don't know if it's the Asian sexist in me, but I would prefer having sons over daughters.

Of course, it would be nice to go shopping with your daughter, prepare dinner together, do each others hair & nails. Daughters, without a doubt, have better taste when picking out Christmas & Mother's day presents. But if it came down to it and I had to choose between having three sons or three daughters, I would choose sons.

Though I'm not into sports or video games or any other typical boyish things, somehow, I feel I get along better with little boys.

I also have been thinking about names for my future son, and I am starting to like really simple, classic names like Ben & Jonathan.

Ben (who I will call Benjamin Bunny when he's a baby) will grow up to be a not-too-successful singer/songwriter with a cult following.

Jonathan will be a writer... just like all the other wonderful Jonathan's in the world (Safran Foer, Lethem, Franzen, Ames).

Yes, they will probably get beat up everyday by bullies and jocks. I should probably stick to having daughters.

while driving home

Writer Mary Karr, being interviewed by Terry Gross:

Oh, I was just - I'm a big eye-roller. You know, I come from a family of eye-rollers, and I mean the degree to which I'm an unlikely religious person - first of all, let me say that talking about spiritual activity to a secular audience is like doing card tricks on the radio. You know, like, I'm saying look, whee, isn't this great? And I know I'm going to sound slightly addled from time to time so - there - you know, the degree to which I was cynical about prayer - you know, I remember people giving me these one-day-at-a-time, these Boy Scout slogans, you know, that like they put on big felt banners like from the jamboree, and God, I just - I couldn't imagine - I couldn't imagine praying.

It was like - I think I say in the book, it was like pointing at a stump and saying fall in love with that or pointing at a mannequin and saying talk to that. It was insane to me. It was beyond crazy.

So I thought faith was a feeling. My intellect told me this was insane. The only way I was able to do it was through practice, and you know, I think I mentioned this before with my last book of poems, "Sinners Welcome" - someone challenged me to pray on my knees, morning and night, every day, and this was after I nearly drove into a piece of concrete and I'd been trying to get sober and not really listening to the ways you're supposed to do it, and somebody said pray on your knees every day for 30 days and see if you stay sober, and in the morning say, you know, help me stay sober, and at night say thanks for helping me stay sober.

And I just saw it as, like, self-hypnosis or like talking to yourself, talking to some higher self or higher part of yourself.

------

And I had been given by my spiritual director, who is this Franciscan nun, these two passages in the Bible, three passages in the Bible, and I open up my mother's childhood Bible and the first one I find is marked. It's Psalm 51, and it's marked in blue chalk. This is her little - she had this since 1927, she had this thing. And the second one is also marked, and there are no other marks in the Bible.

But for me a coincidence like that would just be evidence that there is a force for grace, a force for good that is very specifically interested in me, and if I open myself, or I say to myself at each moment, you know, where is the good in this, where is the God in this - but it's hard to do that. I would rather - I don't know why it's so hard to do.

Gross: Because it's hard to do?

Ms. Karr: I think because my big smart brain wants to think that it runs everything. I mean, honestly, that's what it - even though I know that when I pray, and I try to live in this kind of surrendered, more-present state, everything is better.