8.04.2013

n.


my friends & i have used the metaphor of trains many times.

living in queens, the yellow line has always been near & dear to me.  the n train especially has been my train of preference because it always took me exactly where i needed to go (queensboro plaza, broadway stops) and has a very clean/bright interior (w/periwinkle seating).

but for some reason, i always feel that when i'm waiting for the subway, the r train would always come first. if i'm desperate or tired of waiting, i'll just end up taking it but it was definitely not the ideal - it will take me near my destination (but i would need to take a 5-10 min detour stroll) and definitely was more rickety/old & less aesthetically pleasing.

but the amazing thing was that this weekend, for some reason - every time i was waiting for a train, the n train would come first, which is extremely rare for me (with the exception of this strange time when the r train came disguised as the n train).

i know this is going to sound a bit loopy, but i think this was a sign - a sign that i shouldn't take the r (even if it seems convenient and accessible at the time) and that i should wait for the n, because the n is coming.

when it comes down to it - do i really want to take the r?

remember your values. remember what you want in life.  remember who you are and what you stand for.  remember not too long ago, you specifically stated what you wanted?  how can you be so silly, so fickle, so emotional?

maybe this is a time to retreat back to myself. figure out who i am, once again - before eventually finding someone who will accept it, cultivate it, and hone it.

No comments: