this too shall pass

I saw Jersey Boys the other day. I really enjoyed it- the music (mo-town <3), the story, even the silly/awkward dancing. But after watching the musical, I couldn't seem to shake off a strange feeling pitted deep in my stomach.

After digesting it all, I realized that the show's themes of changing seasons, people falling away, and an inevitable loneliness really struck a chord with me and where my life's at right now.

The thing about New York (and I bring this up a lot) is that it's this place where everything is transitory. People are changing, situations are always evolving. There is no state of permanence or stability.

And it doesn't help that I work in a marketing agency- an industry that is in a constant state of flux. Employees are coming in and out like the place is a revolving door. People who have stayed at my company for longer than two years (our "veterans") are few and far between. Every time, I start developing a real sense of camaraderie with one of my co-workers, they always end up leaving. It's gotten to a point that when a co-worker leaves somewhere in the middle of the day or comes in a bit late, I ask him/her (with alarm in my eyes, I'm sure), "You're not interviewing are you?!" Yes, I've become a needy, paranoid co-worker.

And things are definitely changing at church. As the new TLC (our small groups) season starts, I can't help but remember last year with the warmest regard. Back then, we seemed so young and optimistic about the year to come: the things that we'll do together, the ways that God will work. And this year already feels different (for obvious reasons)... And my heart and my outlook on life in general feel tougher- that life isn't butterflies and rainbows, that people (including myself) don't have the best intentions all the time. And I will miss our old group, each of them individually and our dynamic as a whole.

But you know what's the saddest/weirdest thing about all this?
Even when we feel shaky about things and people fall away from our lives, it all passes and we recover and/or things "normalize" again. It's a life phenomenon.

I remember when I was leaving my old LA office and even breaking up with a past boyfriend, I realized that the saddest part of leaving people behind, is not necessarily leaving them behind, but its the fact that we'll eventually be okay without them. The human heart is so forgetful, so fickle. Just like how Frankie Valli was able to go on without the rest of the Four Seasons, its in my capacity to let go of things- that makes me the saddest.



Tonight you're mine completely
You give your love so sweetly
Tonight the light of love is in your eyes
But will you love me tomorrow?

Is this a lasting treasure
Or just a moment's pleasure?
Can I believe the magic of your sighs?
Will you still love me tomorrow?