it could be anyone

I have always had this annoying habit when meeting new people where I would instantly try to pinpoint who they remind me of (and everyone always reminds me of someone). This is annoying for others particularly because:

1. They usually have no idea who I end up saying they look/act like therefore they cannot classify that person (and themselves) as good-looking, ugly, charming, stupid, etc.

2. Ultimately, people don’t really want to hear they’re not as unique as they thought.

Sometimes it’s the obvious traits (the pretty, almond eyes or the maternal behavior) but more frequently it’s the subtle idiosyncrasies that only a keen eye can catch (the oddly misplaced intonations of their speech or the expression they make when they furrow their eyebrows).

There are 8 billion people in the world. There’s no way you can be wholly unique. Plus, when people are brought up in same neighborhood in Los Angeles, those chances decrease substantially.

It’s funny how dispensable people can be. But at one point in time, you thought otherwise. You were indubitably convinced that that person is unique to your life and is utterly irreplaceable. All those little quirks about that person from the musky scent of their deodorant to the slightly wheezing noise of their laugh were specifically created to complement you. You feel the greater force of God working through this person, his intellectual design imprinted on this special human being. That’s why the loss is so disheartening.

But then you experience more. And you grow wiser. And you realize that compartment isn’t as specialized as you once thought. In fact “that person” isn’t just one particular person at all. People aren’t like puzzle pieces. They are more like liquids that fill these ice cube trays (you know the ones with the funny shapes) and are able to freeze with just the right temperature, but all they need is that right temperature… the right circumstances to make it all fit. In fact, his spot is just this void that you can fill in with who seems right at the moment, constantly evolving with who you may be at the moment. And the little habits and the embarrassing pet names just get carried over right where they ended. Because essentially, people are all people and they just need/want the same things. You realize that perhaps timing is more important than the person himself. So what, if you guys get along so perfectly if you are still young and want to experience more? He may be the best boyfriend/lover/friend in the world, but if he’s your first you still thirst to see what else is out there. Circumstances will work against you, and you end up with someone that may not be so perfect at all.

It’s all conditional. Or at least we would like to believe that in order to feel better about ourselves.