all's well that ends well?

From all the endless, analytical conversations about relationships, I've always been told that a girl can rarely "tree-chop"* a guy. It just doesn't work- a girl can never win a guy over (if he isn't already attracted) with her amazing acts of kindless or great sense of humor or even the amount of money she makes. Older women, with years of relationship experience, have always told me that the guy should always love the girl more in order for the relationship to be stable. And I've always followed this credo, never playing the role of chasee; I often felt that role seemed a bit too brazen & domineering for timid, ol' me. And there's a little thing called self-preservation that stood in the way.

Last night I watched Shakespeare's All's Well That End's Well at Central Park (which was a great production btw)... but for those who aren't familiar with the play, the main protagonist Helena, a common physician's daughter, pines and harps over young Bertram, the cocky and privileged Count... Though he has no affections for her (besides that of a dear childhood friend), she strategically forces him into wedlock through a deal with the king. Bertram is outraged by this engagement and does everything in his power to escape his "betrothed" which leads him to fight in the Austria-France war despite his young age. However in the end, through all of Helena's planning and scheming, Bertram ends up loving(?) her in return as she fakes her own death and becomes pregnant with his baby. I couldn't help myself from feeling pity and shame for Helena throughout the play, wondering is it really worth all the humiliation and effort... just for a guy? Hey, but in the end- she ended up with Bertram, and she was happy.

And then there's my most favorite show of all time , Felicity, whose premise is that the main character Felicity (obviously), abandons her parents' dreams of attending Stanford medical school and moves across country to NYU to follow her high school crush, Ben. As the story moves along, she ends up confessing her whole-hearted love to him... And though he initially rejects her and ends up dating other girls (one of them being her good friend), he ends up reciprocating her love by the season finale.

Are these storylines delusional... can things like this happen in real life? Can the girl really chop the guy? And even if they do, will the women feel happy after all they had to go through (the heartache, the blow to the pride, etc.) or will they just feel embittered throughout the whole relationship, questioning why the guy didn't like them straight from the get-go? But maybe it all doesn't matter in the end... maybe their love is soo pure and certain that they don't care what they had to give up in order to gain that love in return. For them, the end truly justifies the means.

In the past, I would have found these women a bit sad and desperate. But now I find them rather empowering and courageous... women who take fate into their own hands rather than sitting around like lame ducks waiting for the man of their dreams to approach them. It's refreshing, to say the least.

*tree-chopping: to keep pursuing someone (and by doing all things necessary) until that said person keels over and surrenders.