all's well that ends well?

From all the endless, analytical conversations about relationships, I've always been told that a girl can rarely "tree-chop"* a guy. It just doesn't work- a girl can never win a guy over (if he isn't already attracted) with her amazing acts of kindless or great sense of humor or even the amount of money she makes. Older women, with years of relationship experience, have always told me that the guy should always love the girl more in order for the relationship to be stable. And I've always followed this credo, never playing the role of chasee; I often felt that role seemed a bit too brazen & domineering for timid, ol' me. And there's a little thing called self-preservation that stood in the way.

Last night I watched Shakespeare's All's Well That End's Well at Central Park (which was a great production btw)... but for those who aren't familiar with the play, the main protagonist Helena, a common physician's daughter, pines and harps over young Bertram, the cocky and privileged Count... Though he has no affections for her (besides that of a dear childhood friend), she strategically forces him into wedlock through a deal with the king. Bertram is outraged by this engagement and does everything in his power to escape his "betrothed" which leads him to fight in the Austria-France war despite his young age. However in the end, through all of Helena's planning and scheming, Bertram ends up loving(?) her in return as she fakes her own death and becomes pregnant with his baby. I couldn't help myself from feeling pity and shame for Helena throughout the play, wondering is it really worth all the humiliation and effort... just for a guy? Hey, but in the end- she ended up with Bertram, and she was happy.

And then there's my most favorite show of all time , Felicity, whose premise is that the main character Felicity (obviously), abandons her parents' dreams of attending Stanford medical school and moves across country to NYU to follow her high school crush, Ben. As the story moves along, she ends up confessing her whole-hearted love to him... And though he initially rejects her and ends up dating other girls (one of them being her good friend), he ends up reciprocating her love by the season finale.

Are these storylines delusional... can things like this happen in real life? Can the girl really chop the guy? And even if they do, will the women feel happy after all they had to go through (the heartache, the blow to the pride, etc.) or will they just feel embittered throughout the whole relationship, questioning why the guy didn't like them straight from the get-go? But maybe it all doesn't matter in the end... maybe their love is soo pure and certain that they don't care what they had to give up in order to gain that love in return. For them, the end truly justifies the means.

In the past, I would have found these women a bit sad and desperate. But now I find them rather empowering and courageous... women who take fate into their own hands rather than sitting around like lame ducks waiting for the man of their dreams to approach them. It's refreshing, to say the least.

*tree-chopping: to keep pursuing someone (and by doing all things necessary) until that said person keels over and surrenders.

debrief.

-this past week was a daily test of patience. it's hard to coordinate prep/makeup/hair/shower time with five girls and one bathroom...
-we never stuck to our itinerary, but strangely our days felt full.
-justin bieber rocked the house. and our hearts.
-never underestimate new york crooks!
-colbert is still my hero. we got in the freaking first row! he is all-around an adorable man.
-yugioh <3

now that i'm back, i'm even more discontent with life in the suburbs. sad sad sad.

am i ready to be come a new version of me?

ok i really should be working on my paper

vs.



and

felicity

There's something about the holidays (especially Thanksgiving) that makes me really REALLY want to watch Felicity. I think it has to do something with the warm, fuzzy hues or the main characters' soft, hushed voices, but these past few days, all I just wanted to do was bundle up and watch it for hours on end.



So I went to my friends' house (who happens to have all FOUR season DVD's), and we vegged. We only got through four episodes before we ended up falling asleep... (I'm telling you it's their calm, soothing voices)

Keri Russell, though not overtly attractive or charming, is my favorite leading lady. Something about her seems so "real" to me. She is down-to-earth, emotional, thoughtful, impulsive, socially awkward, and a tad bit nerdy. But deep down, she has a heart of gold.

As Sean said (when giving Ben advice in thinking twice before dating her), "Felicity is not the girl you date... she's the girl you marry."

And I LOVE the speech she gives to Ben when she breaks up with him in Season 2:
“The truth is I can't be with you like this. I mean, I know I said that I could, but I can't. I just can't compromise myself like that. I mean I'm an emotional person. I feel things and I need to be able to get upset and talk about how I'm feeling. I mean that's just...that's who I am and I can't change it. I don't want to. And the thing is you know that, you knew it and you still pursued me because you want something with me, you just aren't strong enough to have it which...in a way makes you a coward. And the saddest part is that...one day you're gonna wake up and you're gonna realize what you missed and it's gonna be too late."

And off she goes to get her darling lil' haircut...

boys

There are basically three categories of guys for me (or I guess I should say most girls… though I am reluctant to be the spokesperson for all the women out there):

1. the maybe babies
These are the wide (or maybe not so wide) spectrum of guys that you would possibly date if they liked you and tried to pursue you, but sadly you wouldn’t really go out of your way if they didn’t show initial interest. So you’d either have to be somewhat convinced, wooed, or tree-chopped (in the most extreme situation) to liking this person.
"However, Jeremy does have one outstanding quality. He likes her. And this quality in a person makes them infinitely interesting to the person being liked."- Shopgirl
Most… or I guess pretty much all the guys I’ve dated can be categorized as a “Jeremy.”

2. the “heeeell no” guys
Guys you would definitely not date under any circumstances. Doesn’t matter if they have a million dollars. Doesn’t matter if you two are the last living people on this earth. These people can try to chop as much as they want, but that tree ain’t fallin’ over. Okay maybe that’s a little harsh. But these are the guys that if you knew they liked you, you would not be flattered, but a bit repelled (well, unless you’re one of those attention-deprived girls that will welcome any sort of affection from anyone). These guys are “deal breakers” in themselves (I’m such a b*tch). There are far too many of these.

3. Felicity’s Ben
So as you may already know, I love the show “Felicity.” And though Ben wouldn’t be the ideal guy of my dreams, I’m referring more to Felicity’s adoration for him rather than the dude himself. These are the guys that you would like regardless of their feelings for you. You would be willing to be shameless (e.g. moving across the country to attend the same college) for. For me, these “Ben’s” are far and few between. So when I find one, it’s like discovering a hidden treasure. Okay that was really cheesy, but I’m not really sure what else to compare it to. I’ve told a friend of mine I wonder what it would feel like to really confess your feelings to a person (in Korean this would be “go-behk”)… I’ve never really done that before without having 100% security of their feelings first (yes, I’m a big pansy). How frightening yet refreshing it would be though…


this scene made my heart hurt.