wedding blues

so now that all the craziness/business of the wedding frenzy has passed, i get to have some time to just veg (what i do best!).

it was strange - i don't think i have ever been so stressed as the day before the wedding (to which normal people would find not that stressful at all).  as a maid-of honor, i think it's ultimately the idea that this isn't YOUR big day, and you want to make sure you don't screw up someone else's big day. and being someone who isn't all that into weddings in general (don't even have a wedding board on my pinterest) and as someone who doesn't like planning things in general (i can't even pick restaurants or movies without being paranoid about everyone else's opinions), it just aggravated the situation.

all the while, my mind was straddling the thoughts of how i'm going to make my friends do ridiculous things at my future wedding (and they must comply since I'm the bride!) or just forgo a wedding altogether. i'm leaning towards the latter.

but the wedding itself was lovely. i've been a 3rd-wheel to my cousin and her now husband josh for quite a while when we all lived in NJ together, so it was pretty amazing to see how far they've come. also, a big bonus was that i got to spend the whole weekend with umma.  it startles me a bit every time i see her - she looks older and much thinner each time. she works way too hard for a woman one year shy of 60... i want to give her the world.  i miss her already.