I was sharing with life group yesterday and I mentioned how I hate confrontation, and one of the girls asked me, "are you nice?" I found this an odd follow-up question.
But she explained that most people she knew who disliked confrontation were usually nice people.
I found this particularly odd, because I never really associated the two together. The reason I dislike confrontation, I explained, is because I tend to be a people-pleaser. But with something like people-pleasing, you have to look at the motive behind it rather than the act itself. My type of people-pleasing derives from a discomfort (on my part) of having to deal with people angry/upset with me. So it's not for the sake of others that I want to please them, but for myself. I would think that people who are truly "nice" or kind-hearted would do things for others' comfort, not for their own. So, no... I wouldn't really say that I'm a "nice" person.
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Yesterday I was thinking of how I say "I'm sorry" way too much. I think its because i don't want people to be upset with me. But Tim B. said not to worry about it and that it's better than the alternative.
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