words of the wise

Pietà

one of my faves. i want to travel to italy.

retirement

I know that when I'm too old to work (at least a serious 9-5 kinda job) and have an active social life, I want to retreat to the beautiful countryside of Switzerland.


Maybe it's because I'm such a neutral person (??), but I have always had an affinity towards that place ever since I visited it ever-so-briefly for my crazy whirlwind tour of Europe during my sophomore year in high school. Yes, I went to England, France, Germany, etc., but for some reason, Switzerland always comes up in my thoughts and held a special place in my heart. The Louvre and the Palace of Versailles do not rival the pristine beauty of the Swiss Alps. And though I actually had the worst experience there (getting food poisoning and rashes all over my body), I can't help but to think of the place with the fondest of memories.

I remember the streets in the towns being immaculately clean and the country having the most beautiful landscapes. I remember taking the cable cars up the Alps with my buddies and engraving our own little swiss army pocket knives (mine had "snatch bag" written on it- a term of endearment among us girls... funny when years later, I saw it dangling amongst my dad's key chains). Oh, and we stayed at the coolest (and kinda creepy) jailhouse-turned-hotel.

I just want to go back someday, build my quaint little estate, and live there with my husband & lots of animals. All day, I'll just read, write, garden, bake cookies, listen to soothing music, and eat Toblerones. Ahh~ that would be the life.

**a little tidbit: Audrey Hepburn went to Tolochenaz, Switzerland during her film-making hiatus to raise her family and lived there for the latter part of her life.


Her grave is still there today.

i want to go here before i die

The Magritte Museum in Brussels.

Ahh it would be a dream.

i h8 goodbyes.

I guess this indefinite timeline thing is not making things any better either. But I'll just say (for now) that I'll be coming back in a couple of months... so it won't seem as scary when I'm saying my goodbyes. As for now, it doesn't seem like I'm really, truly leaving. I guess it won't hit me until the airport when my grandma starts to tear up <- that's one thing I'm NOT looking forward to... =(

Now that I'm in the process of picking & choosing which clothes to take, I realized I kinda wear the same clothes all the time. There are my constant pieces that I wear on a weekly basis, and then there are those articles which are kind of in the periphery that I wear once in a blue moon. But sometimes, the clothes that I don't wear as often, I treasure more... so what to do? Bring more of the wearable staples and forgo all the occasional items? I hate packing.

I realized once I'm out there, I'll be truly living the bohemian life... not in the sense that things will be romantic and free-spirited, but in the sense that I'll be impoverished... unless I find a sugar daddy that will pay for all my meals & entertainment, but I'm not counting on it... -_- Some of my friends think I'm brave, some think I'm stupid. I am starting to agree more and more with the latter. Quick!~ Hurry up and ship me out of here before I regain sanity!

The future is limitless. And with that, I say "adieu, L.A." Or at least, c u l8r.

dr. seuss gives the best advice

Congratulations!
Today is your day.
You're off to Great Places!
You're off and away!

You have brains in your head.
You have feet in your shoes
You can steer yourself
any direction you choose.
You're on your own. And you know what you know.
And YOU are the guy who'll decide where to go.

You'll look up and down streets. Look 'em over with care.
About some you will say, "I don't choose to go there."
With your head full of brains and your shoes full of feet,
you're too smart to go down any not-so-good street.

And you may not find any
you'll want to go down.
In that case, of course,
you'll head straight out of town.

It's opener there
in the wide open air.

Out there things can happen
and frequently do
to people as brainy
and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen,
don't worry. Don't stew.
Just go right along.
You'll start happening too.

OH!
THE PLACES YOU'LL GO!

You'll be on your way up!
You'll be seeing great sights!
You'll join the high fliers
who soar to high heights.

You won't lag behind, because you'll have the speed.
You'll pass the whole gang and you'll soon take the lead.
Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best.
Wherever you go, you will top all the rest.

Except when you don't
Because, sometimes, you won't.

I'm sorry to say so
but, sadly, it's true
and Hang-ups
can happen to you.

You can get all hung up
in a prickle-ly perch.
And your gang will fly on.
You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lurch
with an unpleasant bump.
And the chances are, then,
that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump,
you're not in for much fun.
Un-slumping yourself
is not easily done.

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.
Some windows are lighted. But mostly they're dark.
A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin!
Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in?
How much can you lose? How much can you win?

And IF you go in, should you turn left or right...
or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite?
Or go around back and sneak in from behind?
Simple it's not, I'm afraid you will find,
for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind.

You can get so confused
that you'll start in to race
down long wiggled roads at a break-necking pace
and grind on for miles across weirdish wild space,
headed, I fear, toward a most useless place.
The Waiting Place...

...for people just waiting.
Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or a No
or waiting for their hair to grow.
Everyone is just waiting.

Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.

NO!
That's not for you!

Somehow you'll escape
all that waiting and staying.
You'll find the bright places
where Boom Bands are playing.

With banner flip-flapping,
once more you'll ride high!
Ready for anything under the sky.
Ready because you're that kind of a guy!

Oh, the places you'll go! There is fun to be done!
There are points to be scored. there are games to be won.
And the magical things you can do with that ball
will make you the winning-est winner of all.
Fame! You'll be famous as famous can be,
with the whole wide world watching you win on TV.

Except when they don't.
Because, sometimes, they won't.

I'm afraid that some times
you'll play lonely games too.
Games you can't win
'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!
Whether you like it or not,
Alone will be something
you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance
you'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants.
There are some, down the road between hither and yon,
that can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

But on you will go
though the weather be foul
On you will go
though your enemies prowl
On you will go
though the Hakken-Kraks howl
Onward up many
a frightening creek,
though your arms may get sore
and your sneakers may leak.

On and on you will hike
and I know you'll hike far
and face up to your problems
whatever they are.

You'll get mixed up, of course,
as you already know.
You'll get mixed up
with many strange birds as you go.
So be sure when you step.
Step with care and great tact
and remember that Life's
a Great Balancing Act.
Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left.

And will you succeed?
Yes! You will, indeed!
(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...
be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,
you're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting.
So...get on your way!

on my flight home...

Whenever I board a plane or get on a rollercoaster, I tend to have these twisted, nightmarish visions of calamity in my head. I think I watched way too many Final Destination films, but I can't help but imagine that the plane will crash or that the rollercoaster device will fail.

I'm sure many paranoid people like myself get these anxious notions in their head, but mine are excruciatingly detailed. I can picture every microscopic detail like the flight attendant's facial expression on that split second her refreshment cart slides down the aisle. Or the bursting pressure of air as the plane's walls split open and the frightening feeling of free-falling in the open sky. Or how my family will hear about the unfortunate news of their daughter's untimely death through a sterile phone call from ______ Airlines. My grandma's wail of sorrow... my brother's look of disbelief. And how my family will become that family that the whole Korean-American community will know about from the Korea Dailies. My funeral, my slideshow... and more details... but 'nuff of that.

So in a way, to counter these thoughts, I start very carefully observing the other people on my flight. Yeah sure... I can be one of those people that can fall into the hands of an early, unfortunate death (In a teen horror film, I would so be killed off early... its always the scared ones that die first- well the easily scared and overly confident). But look at that nice-looking guy sitting across the aisle? He's on the blackberry talking to his wife, whose eagerly waiting back home with his two little daughters, baking a "welcome back daddy" cake. He can't die now, can he? And what about the old couple with the Jersey accents sitting right next to me, complaining about the cold air and the lack of blankets. There's no way such people could die in a freak accident on a plane. They will live to their dying day in their old apartment, sitting side-by-side on the couch, complaining about something. And that little five-year-old boy up in the front with the glasses that are too big for his face... you can tell he's buggin' the crap out of the lady next to him as he keeps pushing her seat. Annoying kids don't die on planes. They have to keep living and grow up to be annoying adults.

As I look at the people around me, I imagine their antics, their hang-ups, their families, their lovers, their histories, and their lives to be lived and it brings me peace.

oh the places you'll go!

I was driving 'round town today, and I realized how relative distance can be.

Back in high school, I used to think my friend jane lived SO far from me. In fact, my friends and I would call go as far as to calling her house "China."

"Jane wants us to go pick her up..."

"Ugh we seriously have to drive all the way to CHINA?!"

But in fact, according to Googlemaps, her home is only a measly 2.5 miles away from mine. That's less than a 5k mini-marathon! (I should know... I ran one this past Christmas...) But you have to understand this was back in the day when all my buddies lived within walking distance from each other... Back when all we knew was Wilson High School, Puente Hills Mall, Thomas S. Burton Park, etc. Back when Brea Mall was quite a venture and a drive to Third Street Promenade was practically considered a road trip.

But now that our worlds are bigger and better, "China" is only a busstop away.

Having explored the far ends of the earth (or more like bits and pieces of Europe on the most haphazard Spring Break tour & a few more substantial trips to countries/islands in Asia), my standards have gotten higher as well.

I have this wanderlust... hence my blog url and headline. And it doesn't help that I carry this (sometimes misleading) romantic notion of faraway places. That's why I was so happy living in Seoul for the 5 months I was there. Even if I would be spending an average day walking around on the streets all by my lonesome and reading a book on the subway, it would feel THAT much cooler because I was in a different country. If I did the same here, I would just feel like a loser.

That's why the thought of moving back to this small armpit of a hometown made me die a little inside. I associated this town with everything ugly. Ugly street signs. Ugly houses. Ugly people with ugly driving. Ugly fob haircuts.

And I tried everything in my power to stay out of it. But now I realized I cannot fight it any longer. Whenever there was the option of Fight vs. Flight, I always chose the latter. Even in my relationships, when I didn't want to deal with people, I just fled. The main reason I moved out to West LA initially was because of a conflict I didn't want to deal with at home.

But I realized I cannot flee anymore and must embrace the ugliness. Or find some kind of beauty in it- whatever that may be.

From the wise words of Alain de Botton in his essays "The Art of Travel":

Home, by contrast, finds us more settled in our expectations. We feel assured that we have discovered everything interesting about our neighborhood, primarily by virtue of our having lived there a long time. It seems inconceivable that there could be anything new in a place where we have been living for a decade or more. We have become habituated and therefore blind to it. De Maistre tried to shake us from our passivity. In his second volume of room travel, "Nocturnal Expedition around My Bedroom," he went to his window and looked up at the night sky. Its beauty made him feel frustrated that such ordinary scenes were not more generally appreciated: 'How few people are right now taking delight in this sublime spectacle that the sky lays on uselessly for dozing humanity! What would it cost those who are out for a walk or crowding out of the theatre to look up for a moment and admire the brilliant constellations that gleam above their heads?' The reason people were not looking was that they had never done so before. They have fallen into the habit of considering their universe to be boring- and their universe had duly fallen into line with their expectations."

There are some who have crossed deserts, floated on ice caps and cut their way through jungles but whose should we would search in vain for what they have witnessed. Dressed in pink and blue pyjamas, satisfied within the confines of his own bedroom, Xavier de Maistres was gently nudging us to try, before taking off for distant hemispheres, to notice what we've already seen.

ps. totally unrelated but i saw yann tiersen (amelie soundtrack guy) this month and he was amazing.

m.i.a.

q: where in the world is carmen sandiego?

a: being a shameless fob tourist.

me loves me some harrison.

still in my awkward stages

'twas snowing that day

bart

homey!

love- sputnik sweet <3