my best friend (since the 4th grade) is engaged! throughout 18(?) years of friendship, we managed to stay by each other's side (both literally & figuratively)... 

still remember the first time i yelled "hey! hey YOU!" on the streets of clay hill ave. 
the first visit to the fun-house with the sesame street dolls and the curly-cue straws.

being on the opposite end of the country now, i miss her & couldn't be happier for her.

my daily dose of encouragement from my biggest frenemy

c: barf

unless you've wanted to feed someone rat poison in their sleep, you aren't that into them

stop being such an asshole towards yourself!!!!

it's so unbecoming when women are that self-deprecating
god

you're great

okay?
me: aww

u always have the right things to say

im posting u on my blog

c: ew

you just have to say "okay"

"aww" is gross

makes me all fuzzy n shit

barftastic

i feel loved.

r: is it as busy or fast pace as people say it is

me: yeah

me: i feel like im getting like that too

r: nice jules.

me: like i get sooo impatient with tourists

r: lol

me: when im walking near times square area

i just wana push them out of my way

r: damn... so basically... ur became....uh...more easily annoyed

me: HAHAHA

r: so now...u know how we felt...when you kept asking us for rides or coming late cuz u kept getting lost...hahaha wow...how we come to a full circle

me: HAHAHA SHUTTUP.
r: jules mahn he khut neh...Bal E Ghul Eun Hae Rah

me: whats ghul eun hae

gyul luhn?

nuh nah jahl hae

r: LOL

Jin Jah Mahn E Khut Neh

Excuse my friend... he needs to freshen up on grammar rules & his Korean.

this bleach is infecting my brain and making me uber-sentimental.

Being away from home makes me cherish my friendships back at home. The other day I was being all whiny and feeling sorry for myself about how I have no one to go to book readings (and other fun events) to and I get emails and texts from friends saying how they would've so gone with me if they weren't millions of miles away. That made me feel all kinds of warm fuzzies.

I miss them too:


I remember when we first started leading small groups, my buddy roy would say, "man if we lead small groups, all our kids are going to hell."

But as God would have it, my girls turned out more than all right. I initially had many reservations about leading a small group... I think my whole life I was conditioned to being taken care of... not being the caretaker. I'm the baby of the family, my close friends are extremely nurturing & protective, and even in my relationships, I was usually the one at the receiving end. But after leading a s.g., I realized the joy of giving (even with the rather limited resources that I have). It's so easy to fall back into that trap of being completely self-centered, always asking yourself, "what can this person do for you?" And I saw myself, especially after graduating college and going into young adulthood, totally going in that direction- only concerned about being fed, but I need to snap out of it.

I'm the least maternal person that I know, but I feel like a proud mama when I think of my girls. It's funny, because they now have their own small group underlings, so in a sense, I'm like a KCM s.g. grandma (yuck~ kind of gross on second thought).

Also, I miss my yellow star flats.

its sat. night & i ain't got nobody~

Today has officially been the most boring saturday night ever.

I was waiting around for my two besties to come back home from a wedding so we can have a Modern Family marathon (we are such losers), but instead they ended up not coming home and I ended up being the sole loser of the situation. And trust me- it's only fun being a loser with company. Being a loner-loser sucks.

So I couldn't get a hold of them for the past few hours, and I really started worrying/panicking. I think it's because of my childhood traumas of my mom getting into 5+ accidents on the way home from work, but my imagination runs rampant in the worst ways possible. I kept texting and calling them. I even called our mutual friends and their family members. And I got them all riled up in panic mode too. I even texted a friend who I haven't talked to in years- in hopes that she went to the wedding too and knew about their whereabouts. Funny thing is I don't think she was even invited to the wedding and now I probably just caused some unnecessary drama between people I hardly talk to.

Finally, just now, one of them calls me to say that they just left the wedding and they had no reception. Very anti-climatic, yet relieving way to end the night.

But now I'm back to the most boring Saturday night ever. Scratch that- im almost done with the Magician's Nephew.

I want some cereal now. All this worrying has made me hungry.

ps. My blog entries are subpar in quality as of late. I apologize.

what is wrong with me

I think there is a slightly sadistic side of me.

Some people (like my friend Jessica) are creatures of practicality. She always knows the shortcuts to everything, always manages to do the proper research before buying anything (well with the exception of her Dell laptop), always seems to know who/what to consult for the matter at hand.

I, on the other hand, will make do for less. I never do enough research for anything I buy.

Par exemple:
my lovely new cellphone. I was planning to buy the LG enV (follow the crowd...) but after the cellphone lady told me that it would cost an extra $10/month and the phone itself is more expensive, I decided to resort to a motorola. Basically- it sucks. It lags, it's buttons are sketchy, and its sound quality is subpar. If I checked it out beforehand or asked around, I would have known better. But no, my "que sera sera" self didn't care for it so now I'm stuck with this phone for two years. Some suggested I should go back but oh well.

I remember many instances where co-workers would use my computer and ask me in pure disbelief and horror, how I could stand using such a deficient mouse (it was the roller ball kind, not the laser kind, that was basically a pain in the arse). I just shrugged and said I got used to it. Every time, they'd use my computer, they'd be like CHANGE IT ALREADY. But I didn't mind (Or maybe I did mind but convinced myself that I didn't. Maybe I did mind but was too lazy to do anything about it. I don't know.) Eventually my boss ended up using my computer one day and said my mouse was intolerable and changed it the very next day.

Maybe I am too complacent with things. I use Jessica as a prime example because she used to get so irritated at the fact that my brastraps or backpack straps were twisted. I don't know why this annoyed her to such an unspeakable degree, but she would snap at me and question how I could live like this. I, on the other hand, was not even aware of the discomfort that the twisted straps were causing. After a while, I got in the habit of checking them, just to avoid a scolding from my best friend.

Even today, Jess tries to show me shortcuts in directions or how to change the settings of my Mac (to make it more user-friendly), I brush off her suggestions, not wanting to complicate my tried-and-true methods. Ironically, my way of doing things are a lot more complicated than hers are.

loner

Seeing a familiar face today made me realize just how lonely my life has been since I started working full-time again. I haven't had one-on-one time with anyone in a while, and it was nice to actually have a long, meaningful conversation with somebody. These days, I have been miss antisocial. The energy has been sucked out of me and has left me bone-dry. At least, I have been growing closer to my grandma... she's a doll. I even painted her nails the other day and she slept in my room like a slumber party!


People I miss (in no particular order):
-Irene Bean: my TKB partner/master (Karaoking is not the same without the Recintoses!)
-Ana Bettina: my roomie I would make beautiful (or err... subpar) songs/music/poetry with... Oh, let's embrace the subpar!
-Natasha: my soon tofu buddy & inspirational life coach
-My Canonites... Shanez: the "Dawn" to my "Claudia"<3, Hec: my stomach twin, Shaz: my little person
(I found my Alf pog while I was rummaging through my stuff, and it made me miss those golden days on the 9th floor... oh was it the 8th? It's been too long, my friends)
-LA boys and Parking Lot (our work-out sessions rewarded with late night junk food are greatly missed)
-My Janes: my homebodies (watching illegally downloaded movies and bummin' round the hometown)
-My other Jane: my fellow bookworm who I could turn to for complaining about miserable states/unemployment/writers block/general cases of hysteria
-My 윤선언니... It's only been 1-2 weeks but I miss living with her.
-My 2 J's.... though I still see them regularly I feel as though it's been a while since we hung out as a tripod... What happened to the magic? =(


It's good to have friends.