excerpts from "gilead"

on writing & parental love:
"for me writing has always felt like praying, even when i wasn't writing prayers, as i was often enough. you feel that you are with someone. i feel i am with you now, whatever that can mean, considering that you're only a little fellow now and when you're a man you might find these letters of no interest.  or they might never reach you, for any of a number of reasons.  well, but how deeply i regret any sadness you have suffered and how grateful i am in anticipation of any good you have enjoyed.  that is to say, i pray for you. and there's an intimacy in it. that's the truth."

on baptism:
"ludwig feuerbach says a wonderful thing about baptism. i have it marked. he says 'water is the purest, clearest liquids; in virtue of this its natural character it is the image of the spotless nature of the divine spirit. in short, water has significance in itself, as water; it is on account of its natural quality that it is consecrated and selected as the vehicle of the Holy Spirit.  so far there lies at the foundation of baptism a beautiful, profund, natural significance."

on mortality:
"you're just a nice-looking boy, a bit slight, well scrubbed and well mannered.  all that is fine, but it's your existence i love you for, mainly.  existence seems to me now the most remarkable thing that could ever be imagined.  i'm about to put on imperishability. in an instant, in the twinkling of an eye.  the twinkling of an eye - that is the most wonderful expression.  i've thought from time to time it was the best thing in life, that little incandescence you see in people when the charm of a thing strikes them, or the humor of it."

on the hardest commandment (to keep):
i believe the sin of covetise is that pang of resentment you may feel when even the people you love best have what you want and don't have. from the point of view of loving your neighbor as yourself (leviticus 19:18), there is nothing that makes a person's fallenness more undeniable than covetise - you feel it right in your heart, in your bones. in that way it is instructive.... i avoided the experience of disobeying by keeping to myself a good deal. i am sure i would have labored in my vocation more effectively if i had simply accepted covetise in myself as something inevitable, as paul seems to do, as the thorn in my side, so to speak. 'rejoice with those who rejoice.' i have found that difficult too often. i was much better at weeping with those who weep. i don't mean that as a joke, but it is kind of funny when you think about it."

on doubt & proof:
"so my advice is this - don't look for proofs.  don't bother with them at all. they are never sufficient to the question, and they're always a little impertinent, i think, because they claim for God a place within our conceptual grasp.  and they will likely sound wrong to you even if you convince someone else with them. that is very unsettling over the long term. 'let you works so shine before men,' etc. it was Coleridge who said christianity is a life, not a doctrine, words to that effect. i'm not saying never doubt or question. the Lord gave you a mind so that you would make honest use of it. i'm saying you must be sure that the doubts & questions are your own, not, so to speak, the mustache and walking stick that happen to be the fashion of any particular moment.

on the nature of God:
"i tell there are certain attributes our faith assigns to God: omniscience, omnipotence, justice, and grace. we human beings have such a slight acquaintance with power and knowledge, so little conception of justice, and so slight a capacity for grace, that the workings of these great attributes together is a mystery we cannot hope to penetrate."