blue tuesday

Something that I never really experienced until I came to NY was this interaction/relationship you have with your doormen.  These doormen you see day in & day out; they probably know about your patterns more than you do by the way you scramble out the apt every morning, the packages you receive once in a blue moon, the visitors you get late at night.  We have three doormen (now four I believe) at my apt. building.  They all greet me very pleasantly in the mornings with their distinct "good morning ma'am!", "why hello Juuulie!" or "how youuu doin?"

So it kind of broke my heart when last week, I heard that the oldest doorman is terminally ill in the hospital.  Yes - he was kind of a strange one.  The one that looked pretty disheveled (I admit, I judged him) and would be a bit "overly" friendly as he jibber-jabbered comments to himself. 

But all those past feelings of annoyance and irritation at the old guy seemed so petty and mean-spirited when I found out the disheartening news.

I actually asked the younger doorman if this older man had any family & kids, and the guy said he doesn't think so and that he possibly might have a sister somewhere, but is not even sure if she's aware of his condition.  This made me even sadder.

These people you see and talk to everyday of your life (even if it's a quick salutation) - you can strangely feel their absence.