my my metrocard

Adrian Tomine's Missed Connections

There is something inherently romantic about taking public transit. As I sit there, stealing glances at the slightly attractive guy sitting across the aisle from me, my (problematically) active imagination goes into overdrive as I start to wonder:

What is this stranger's name?
What music is he listening to, so intently, on his ipod?
Where is he going with his duffle bag?
Why does he have that scar on his elbow?

But unfortunately, not all bus/subway rides are like pretty, subtle little scenes painted from the latest romantic arthouse film.

In fact, this past week, I had to witness some extremely crass and annoying conversations conducted by wildly pubescent teenage boys. I know a friend of mine who hates babies. I know another person who can't stand loud ajuhmas. I realized that my most hated sub-class (?) of people would be teenage boys. Don't get me wrong- I do not hate all teenage boys. Some are really adorable. But at their worst, they are the most despicable type of human being.

These boys, that I encountered this week, would speak in unnecessarily loud voices about the girls they banged (excuse my lang) the other night- how good she was, how fat she was, etc. etc. And they used the most vulgar language that they could possibly use. (You know all those phrases/slangs that you look up on urban dictionary... and you want to throw up after finding out what it really means?) Okay- all right. I know guys out there in the mad, mad world hold conversations like this... I'm not completely naive. But still- spare the details for the locker room or your slumber parties or something. I'm sure I could speak for everyone on the train when I say that I do not want to hear about your guys' one-night-stands. And all the dudes were butt-ugly too, which only added to the level of disgust. I looked around and observed the other innocent bystanders on the train (especially the women) and saw some of them with patronizing smirks ("oh, boys will be boys") while some just had bemused expressions (a very common mien for subway-riders, I've observed). I don't think my look of revulsion could have been suppressed. I just sat there quietly as I shoved my headphones in my ears and let my mellow jams drown out their obnoxious voices, as I thought to myself, "This is why I never want to have daughters."